Sunday, May 3, 2009

One of the most amazing benefits of meditation is your enhanced ability too see beneath the surface. I am not talking about looking at someone else. I am not talking about becoming a better judge of human nature. I am talking about looking within. I am slowly developing this ability to watch myself. I think the word Hindu scriptures use for this is being 'Saakshi'. You look at your own reactions, you watch your self in action. It is as if you are split in two. One is the doer and the other watches on silently. As I watched myself it slowly dawned on me that I was wearing a mask . I have always been proud of the fact that I am myself most of the time. I was never bothered about what others may think about me. I now realize that at times I play games with myself. I am wearing a mask. I am now able to see beyond this mask sometimes. Slowly I am getting to know the real me. I wonder if all of us are like this. In deep meditation there comes a time when a sort of union happens between all that is you. That feeling of complete surrender, where 'me' disappears is wonderful. That one moment of complete happiness and peace where all your masks come off........is difficult to describe........stupendous to live.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Understanding

The year before last saw me in a state which can be best described as blissful, confusing and mesmerizing. I was charmed but unable to fathom what was happening to me. I had loads of visions about different religious practices. I had more than a fair share of astral travel. I was here constantly seeking answers. I stopped writing as the answers actually began to unfold. I wanted to understand the situation better before sitting to write again. I haven't understood the How and Why behind everything but some understanding of the phenomena dawned on me slowly. I realized that whatever I experienced in the past two years was a trailer of what ever I had achieved in this field in my past lives.
I had to remember all I had learned earlier before I cold move further. My past was catching up with me. Since this knowledge was all there, explanations were rare. The pace was extremely fast and furious as I could appear for my third grade only after remembering all that I learned in my playschool through to second grade.
Now that I have finally moved to next grade, the flow is much more gentle. My understanding of my situation is much better. My acceptance level is higher and my need to question has given way to faith. I am finally a believer. I still do not know one thing.......why does this omnipresent and omnipotent source of power love me so much. People seek but never find. I was given without seeking, without asking and with immense love. Whosoever you are ....thank you and love you ....lots.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I am so happy to be back.


I am back. I never thought this day would come again. I was away because I had too much on my plate and then suddenly so little. I had to learn and unlearn a lot. I realized I was talking without knowing much. I should have known better. I know now that I don't know much. There is a huge knowledge bank out there. I know at least that much now. I have some idea of where I am headed. The rest I intend to figure out as I walk the path. Lots of love to all my friends out there. Thank you so much for being there for me ....always.