Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Lamb and Vortex

My husband was to catch the early morning flight to Mumbai so I was up at four in the morning. I was not doing anything else from enjoying his company and generally chatting with him. He would be away for a few days and I was missing him already. He went in for a shower and I lay down beside my baby to cuddle her. Sleeping babies do look like angles, once they are awake is another story altogether.
That day I realized why Hindu’s call early morning Amrit Vela or the time when nectar can be yours. The meditation happened so rapidly that I was in it completely before I could have said meditation.
The vision was extremely clear. I could feel the wind on my face. I could smell the sea salt in the air. Well, coming back to where I started. I was standing near the sea. Below me was not a sandy beach but cliffs. I was surprised to see pine cones scattered on the flat surfaces of the cliff. When I looked carefully, I saw trees that looked like fir or pine trees. The small ones were growing in the crevices of the cliff. I have never seen pine trees near sea before. In India, pine trees are found only in some mountainous regions that have nothing to do with sea.
I saw a rough path leading up the slope and started walking on that. After a few minutes of walking on this path, I noticed the trees were getting denser. They were huge trees; some of them would have a trunk with a diameter of six to eight feet.
As I walked along, I saw that there was moss kind of growth on some trees. Surprisingly the moss was not green. It was grey-blue, the colour of sky on a cloudy day.
Whenever I would look up at the path ahead, I could see a small bright light. It was like a firefly gone blue. I was following this tiny flickering light.
This light suddenly stopped and grew bigger in size. It was now the size of a dinner plate. It had a curious pattern on it, like lots of concentric circles moving in circles. It beckoned me to step inside. I was thinking how that would be possible when this light grew bigger and became more like a tunnel. I was little hesitant to step inside although this hesitation was momentary. I saw a snow-white lamb walking towards me. He was jumping and leaping the way baby lambs do. He told me not to hesitate. He had come to my aid and I should follow him.
Here the energy dipped and I knew I would have to leave. I didn’t want to. He didn’t want me to. I could almost feel our hands slipping from the clasp. Its weird as the lamb cannot have hands. It is just a metaphor I am using to describe how I felt at that point in time.
I could feel myself slipping away from that light and that playful and celestial lamb. He turned the same blue as the tunnel and slowly the light became more distant and smaller. It did not fade away. It disappeared. Until the last glimpse, it was bright as a light can be.
Lamb is a clear sigh that what I was about to see was related to Christianity.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Sorry Readers

I want to apologize for not posting for so long. I am unwell so won't be posting for another week. Please bear with me. Thanks.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Tagged! & Random facts about me!

I have been tagged by Ray at Esotrical Journey. Well, seven random and/or weird facts about me and from India.

1. Procastination is the biggest bane of my life. I am trying.....for the past decade or so to be more proactive...........and I am still trying.

2. I love to paint. Sometimes I don't paint for months and the suddenly when the creative streak wakes up I paint like a woman possessed.

3. I absolutely love cooking, but not the normal everyday mundane stuff. I can easily cook for a party of 30 people.

4. I like going for the movies and I watch a huge spectrum of genres. I adore whacky movies.

5. There was a time in my life, my teens, when I dreamt of becoming a bollywood actress.....lol.

6. I am very good at daydreaming. Sometimes the stories I weave are so facinating I don't feel like coming out of that world.

7. My kids are my biggest weakness.

ok....now I am goint to Tag;


1. Whole Living today

2. Aseem-Insights For Life

3. A Course In Miracles

4. Mindfulness and wonderment.

5. Why Zen?

Now for the rules:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Post 7 random or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged

Monday, January 28, 2008

The bubble...


Recently I had another amazing experience, I saw myself inside a bubble kind of thing. It can be best described as a transparent ball filled with gel like liquid. This liquid is transparent as well. All around me were alphabets. Yes alphabets which were moving in a slow circular motion around me. I could make out some kind of chanting, may be a mantra re vibrating in the ball like thing. I know the alphabets were not English alphabets. They were more complex, maybe Sanskrit or Hindi. I don't know why I was there.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Head is Spinning...

The energy levels were very high today. I had a feeling I must finish my work and head for a quiet place soon. Meditation was instant and deep. I didn't have to try too hard to concentrate. I saw a white wolf in a forest. As I looked at the wolf I felt as if he wanted me to follow him. I didn't have any feeling of fear seeing this wolf although he was huge. I walked behind him till we came to a clearing in the forest. I don't know whether he stayed back to explain what I saw next or did he go away. I saw a circle being drawn on the clearing. Then a five point star came up within the circle, all points touching the circle. Suddenly this geometrical figure caught fire. Then I saw a hand of a woman holding a wine goblet. It was a beautiful hand. She wore a ring with a big moon stone surrounded with diamonds on her forefinger. I remember hearing the words 'Chalice' and 'Grail'. There was some kind of liquid inside that goblet. Then I saw a half naked woman enter this circle. It was very strange but on seeing her I didn't feel any sexual undercurrents, instead there was a a feeling of reverence surrounding her. I had a feeling that this ritual will finish with copulation. This made me feel uncomfortable. I sort of walked away from this scene. I have never done this, walking away, ever till date. To my some what prude mindset this was something very confusing. I got up and went for a walk on my terrace. My mind was buzzing. I had to find out what had I witnessed just now. I logged in and found this......

This is a very basic ritual pattern that describes the parts of the Wicca rituals that are common to all traditions.

Casting the Circle: Most Wicca rituals begin by "casting the circle", which is the act of defining sacred space. They use a circle because the moon and sun are circles, and the horizon is a circle, as are many other things in nature, for it is the most basic of geometric shapes. The magic circle, within Wicca, is treated as a kind of division between the mundane world on the outside and the sacred world within, where magic can happen more easily. Any place can be transformed into sacred space, by pushing the furniture in a room to the walls or by selecting an empty spot in the woods or on a beach. It is also considered a container for power; in this sense it acts to keep things in more than out, though protection from dangers without can also be a part of its function. Usually the circle is cast using a sword, though any of the "masculine" tools, like the athame, wand, or staff can be used instead.

The circle is ritually cleansed and purified with the four elements in order to make ready a place for the powers of those elements to enter. This may be done by the priest or priestess, or by people previously selected to represent the four quarters. Some me traditions perform elemental purification before the circle is cast. The typical purification method is to carry an elemental tool deosil around the circle, starting with air (incense) in the east, fire (a candle) in the south, water in the west, and earth (soil or salt) in the north. The five vertices of the pentacle represent the four elements with the addition of Spirit as the uppermost point.


Drawing Down the Moon: At this point of the ritual, witches call upon the Goddess to enter the circle. The priest recites an invocation before the Priestess, and the spirit of the Goddess enters the priestess, to speak with her voice.


The Great Rite:In its "actual" form, the Great Rite is a sexual ritual. If you choose to include a symbolic Great Rite in your ritual you may use the water chalice as the symbol of the woman and the athame as the symbol of the man; the man holds the athame and dips it into the chalice-- symbolic of intercourse. Wicca is unashamed, but not promiscuous or voyeuristic.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Horus...

After reading about Horus and the tree of life in Malkuth I am really convinced either I lived in Egypt in my earlier lifetime or my Guide/Master is very fond of Egyptian religion. So many of my experiences end up being related to Egypt. Horus is one of the most ancient deities of the Ancient Egyptian religion, who appears in his earliest form in late Predynastic Egypt.He was usually represented as a man with a falcon's head.
He is called the God of Sky and sometimes God of Sun This is thought to be the original form of Horus. His name meaning 'high' or 'distant' reflects his sky nature. He was seen as a great falcon with outstretched wings whose right eye was the sun and the left one was the moon.Eye of Horus symbolic of indestructibility and is symbolic of rebirth. It is a powerful symbol of protection, and it is also considered to confer wisdom, health and prosperity.

Malkuth:

Malkuth is the first sphere upon which an initiate enters the Tree of Life. It is in this realm that you learn of the existence of other things, other than the earth, and touch upon divine sources. Sandalphon is the name of the Archangel that presides over this sphere and without his permission, you will not be allowed to leave Malkuth and enter into the other spheres of the Tree of Life. Newcomers to the Tree of Life will spend some time exploring in this sphere, some of that time on his or her own. Eventually, when Sandalphon feels the time is right and you have proved to him that you are ready and worthy and pure of heart enough to enter into the other realms, he will come up to you and present you some kind of key. This key is a symbol that you can travel to the other spheres.Now there are also three other places that are technically a part of Malkuth. They actually are located midway up the tunnels (or paths) that lead away from Malkuth and into the rest of the Tree of Life, but often the initiate is sent on journeys to these places by Sandalphon to prove his/her worth; so we will mention them here.
The first place is located in the North-East corner of Malkuth. And it is the "Towers of Dark and Light."The second place is located in the North-West corner of Malkuth. It is a similar place in feel and appearance, to the Towers, and it usually is marked by two huge pillars of dark and light. This is the palace of judgment.The third place is directly North in Malkuth, and it is the Crystal Palace. The way to this place is through a crystal garden with a crystal road. You might meet the crystal princess here.It is here that you get gifts of energy and of special skills that are dormant within you that just need to be awakened. Sandalphon (in one of his forms,In his traditional female form, he will look like a beautiful ice princess or crystal princess. ) will usually be here and he will guide you to where you need to be in the palace and to what you

will receive.

Wow, so finally after hours of research I have zeroed upon the place which I saw. I still don't know whether this place is associated with tree of life in Egyptian religion or with Kabbalah. I found this word Malkuth mentioned in both places. I didn't meet any crystal princess or anyone else there though.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Crystal road...

Last night after my family went off to bed I sat down to meditate. I went to the open terrace to mediate under the clear sky. It was really cold and the air was crisp. I must have been in meditation for quiet a while because my knees were complaining. I suddenly found my self in a beautiful place. I was standing on a road made of crystal. It was smooth and transparent. The sides of this road were made of uncut crystal. Every thing around me was glowing and shimmering. I could see crystal as far as I could. In distant horizon I could make out something very big made out of crystal as well. The colour beyond all this crystal was shades of blue. As I was walking on this road I heard my guide after a long while. I just remember a few words here and there. Cannot recall completely what I was being told. He said some thing about four planes, one being this crystal road. I remember two more words, malkooth and horous....this is how they sounded to me. I will do some research work tonight to find out what exactly was happening to me. May be these words will act like the key to open this mysterious lock.

Those Eyes...


I was sitting on my mothers bed reading a book when I looked up at the familiar photographs on the wall facing me. The one on bottom is of her guru and the other is of his grandfather who was his guru. I have seen them countless times. They have been there for years now. I like looking at the bottom one because I have met this person so there is a familiarity. I have only heard about the other person in passing. That day I felt drawn to the upper photograph. I kept looking at it for a few minutes. His eyes attracted me the most. After a while every thing else faded away. It happened in a few minutes time. I felt a sudden jolt of energy. I was really taken aback. I looked into those eyes again and the similar pattern repeated itself. By now I was really intrigued ! I called my mother to that room and told her what had happened. Now it was her turn to be surprised. She hadn't expected me to catch on, she had barely started this experiment a few days ago. What had happened here was......there is a technique where by a person can fill up energy in an idol, painting or photograph. Once this object becomes charged with enough cosmic energy it starts radiating this energy. A layman might call it a feeling of peace. A person with his receptor in place will catch this energy and this will aid in his meditation. This was the basic theory behind the places of worship. People who knew this art would fill up an idol with energy and the build a temple for it. This is the reason SOME temples or other places of worship give a feeling of peace more than others. Sadly this art is slowly declining. Most of the new temples don't follow this basic principle at all.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Raven...

Thanks So much guys for helping me unfold at least a bit of the mystery. I still don't know why I saw this Raven but this is what I found after following your leads....

Raven in Wicca:

Ravens, and to a lesser degree Crows, are very magical creatures. Raven with her plumage as dark as the void between the stars, is a citizen of the afterworld. She travels between the worlds of the living and the dead. Being native to both worlds, Raven naturally has great knowledge and Power to effect transformations. Raven is associated as a Wicca symbol because of this power to move between the worlds, and create new realities as she chooses.

To Shamanic people of many cultures, Raven was, for the most part, beneficial. To the superstitious and some of orthodox religions, the bird was an ill omen.


Native American Raven Beliefs:

American Indians associated Raven with magic, a powerful medicine or power that gives courage to enter the void, the Great Mystery where Great Spirit resides. When Raven appears, there will be a positive change in consciousness. Raven guards ritual magic and healing.
Raven brought light into the darkness of the world and transformed and created part of Maka, Mother Earth. He named plants and taught animals.
Raven is the hallmark of shape-shifting. Raven could see all and find things that are hidden.
Some tribes believe that Raven is Trickster like Coyote and Crow. Raven is teacher out outwits himself, being fooled by his shenanigans.
Raven, in accordance with Celtic symbolism, is believed to be a sign that something special, but unexpected will happen.

Old World Pagan Raven Symbolism and Superstitions:

Bran is the Celtic word for Raven, ubran is the Welsh name. Raven symbolizes protection, initiation and healing. It brings in deep healing and signifies the death of one thing to bring in the birth of another. Raven’s other attributes are eloquence, change in consciousness, wisdom, messages from spirit and something unexpected, but beneficial would happen soon. Raven was believed to be not totally trustworthy, so Celts were careful in working with it.


Raven is regarded as an omen of both good fortune and bad, carrying the medicine of magic. Europeans often associated the Raven with war, death and departed spirits.But the Raven has not always been associated with death, spirits and darkness. Quite the contrary, the Raven was believed by some to be the bringer of light, truth and goodness. It is the brighter side of the Raven, this intelligence and ingenuity, an ability to use cunning – this association with light, illumination, truth and goodness, that hold more importance.

Ravens are birds of omen, in Druid augury, who predict the future by studying the flight of the birds. The raven is also believed to be an oracular bird, and a bearer of messages from the Other world.
So, What I gather is , Raven symbolises magical change in consciousness. It also helps in travel to other worlds. He is mysterious and mostly positive. Great.






Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Raven...

After a long time I had a wonderful session of meditation. Very deep and intense. The energy was almost too much to handle. Soon I found myself going through loops of blue light. Almost every hue of blue you can think of. After a while it was pitch black. I couldn't see a thing. Then I looked around and realized I was somewhere in a forest. All the trees were black . The darkest black you can think of. I was looking down at the forest. I though I am on top of a mountain, but the I realized the cliffs were also beneath me. Deep dark crevices. The mountain had razor sharp outlines. Going up suddenly, plunging down the next moment. I was sitting on top of a black coloured bird which was huge. I could only see his head and neck, which was in front of me, as I was sitting across his neck. It had shiny black feathers, like black having blue highlights. We were flying over deep valleys. For the first time, instead of a feeling of awe, I felt a little afraid. Afraid and excited at the same time. I felt something very mysterious was going to unfold. I knew I was here to learn a new technique. Only this much was revealed to me so far. My heart was fluttering with excitement. Suddenly I felt someone shaking me. My eight year old couldn't sleep, he woke me up for a cuddle and a cup of milk. How do you explain to this little baby what he had done !Well both of us had milk and cookies and I went to bed hoping someday I might be privileged with information I was about to be given. I don't know what Raven means in meditation or where this place was. I'll research on the net tonight and post whatever I can find.

Anyone who knows about Ravens and the symbolism attached please share with us here. Thank you.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What happens in astral travel...

I was reading my friend Octavian's comment on the post 'The cave'. Octavian says, "I would take decisions and achieve goals in that World full of Magic, goals I would not be able to achieve in my real life." The thing is when I experience something like say the 'cave', I am just a witness. Witness is the nearest word I could come up with, its actually called ' drishta'. I think 'observer' may be better translation. I don't know where am I. I have no idea why am I there. Actually all five of our senses should be working at that time and place. Sadly the meditation has to be deep enough and your receptors shold be properly tuned in. Otherwise the experiences remain a mystery, like most of mine have been. One of the clearest experiences I have had is about the Pyramids. When I was there I could see clearly. I could hear what my guide was explaining. I could feel the rough stones beneath my bare feet. I remember clearly how the Pyramids looked. I could feel the heat of the torch the man who took me inside had in his hand. Once inside the auditory sense failed me. I don't remember very clearly but I know he had explained to me the ' mystery ' of Pyramids and why this particular shape is important in Meditation. My visual sense has always been stronger. I often remember phone numbers as visual pictures. There are some people in our group who only hear what their Guide says. I can off course ask questions. The fact it that when something like this happens I am too amazed to think about anything else. The involvement has to be 100 %. Complete in every way.

Back in Groove...

I am feeling so blessed and humbled to be able to meditate again. Last night when I got up have water, I had a feeling I should sit down to meditate right here and right now. This was the moment, I could feel the call of the cosmos. What a wonderful feeling to feel 'That' sense of peace again. I was in cold turkey mode for the past month or so. I think meditation is addictive as well. The feel good factor apart from anything else, beckons you to be there over and over. When I was reluctant to start meditation, my guru asked me try it like I have done with so many other things in life give up if I didn't fall in love with it. She was so right. Anyone who has tasted it once wants more and more. Your soul's hunger overtakes any other hunger you might be facing. It suddenly makes you feel so complete, at peace, happy and gives a sense of purpose nothing else can give. This, off course is entirely my feelings.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Cave...

This is one experience for which I haven't found any explanation. My search is still on. I thought I should narrate it, may be some one visiting this blog will know what I saw. I was standing in front of a water fall which was a deep glowing orange. As I walked towards it I realized it wasn't water, it was lava. I walked through it to get to the other side. I wasn't afraid that I might get burned. This thought never crossed my mind. On the back of this lavafall was a huge cave. The cave of glowing embers, this is the nearest description. All the stones in this cave were deep maroon, as dark a red you can think of, nearly a black-red. The edges of these stones were glowing like embers. Bright, the colour of fire. They were twinkling like embers as well. I don't why I went there. I don't know where this place is. I have no idea about its significance.

If anyone reading this post has any idea about such a place existing in any mythology or folklore or religion please do share it here.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Scarab Beetle...

Since I am not supposed to meditate now-a-days I utilised this time to dig up older experiences which could not be explained by my guru as she hadn't experienced them. Thanks to the inter net I could come up with some kind of explanations for them. You may wonder how come my guru didn't experience these when she is way way way ahead of any of us( her students). There is a very simple explanation for this. If many people drive down from Delhi to Bombay, they will have certain common experiences of what they noticed on the way. At the same time some experiences will be different as no one can notice every little detail there is to see even if that trip has been made 'n' number of times. During the time I had the experience involving The Pyramid I also saw a beetle, rolling a ball kind of thing along a pathway. As the beetle kept moving ahead the ball in its claws started turning golden. My receptors were faulty I guess, unlike the Pyramid phase I couldn't hear my guide explain this phenomena. I was quiet taken aback. How could an insect be anything close to a religious or mystical experience ! Then I thought, in Hindu mythology many animals are worshiped, may be beetle is one of them. On questioning people no one could come up with beetle being symbolic of anything mystical. I let it be but did note down the time, date and the experience in my notepad. A few weeks later my husband went to Egypt on a seminar and got a little trinket for me. It was supposed to ward of evil and darkness, something like that, an amulet of sorts. I was really amazed. He isn't this kind of person at all. He smiled and said he bought it because it was very pretty and made of turquoise, my favorite stone. I opened the box to see a tiny beetle, just the kind I saw, nestled among folds of silver silk. I just kept staring at it ! Then he got the biggest hug of his life and I hit the net to find more about this creature. According to ancient texts, the Egyptians believe that the scarab beetle came into being spontaneously from balls of dung and they associated this with their religious ideology of self-creation and resurrection. Thus, the scarab beetle was worshipped under the name Khepri (meaning 'he who has come into being' or 'he who came forth from the earth'). The beetle was typically depicted pushing the sun across the sky every day, as well as rolling it safely through the Egyptian underworld every night. No wonder the ball turned golden...sun...hmmm.The image of a scarab beetle became a common design of amulet, and one of these amulets found its way around my neck.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Seesaw....

This seesaw of energy was really getting to me. I finally had a heart to heart with my guru and viola....this was expected. She told me that this was bound to happen. When ever this type of deeper meditation happens for the first time the cosmic energy is too much to handle. It is generally advised not to try meditation for at least 2-4 weeks afterwards. The body needs time to adjust. LOL....I guess I didn't listen carefully enough. The excitement must have got to me(blush). So for another 4-5 days meditation is off limits until it happens on its own. No wonder I was perplexed, sometimes I would feel so much energy that I could shoot out like a rocket and then suddenly it was kaput, fuel needle would be in red. Its a real blessing to have her around. I am really lucky to have a guide who is accessible. My mum met her guru just a few times in her lifetime. Must have been a whole lot of confusion happening....whole lot of self discovery too.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Confusion.....

Its been two weeks since I had that deeper meditation experience and I haven't been able to sit and concentrate ever since. I try, God knows I do but the end result is nothing. Wonder where am I going wrong or have I run out of steam ? Hope I haven't become too smug. I hope that thinking about what to write on this blog and how to write my next post hasn't taken toll on my meditation. I am going to try and try till I succeed...or maybe I shouldn't try too hard. Maybe its this trying too hard which is proving to be my down fall.......well as you wish so shall it be.......the one above.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

The Surprise...

As I shared with you after that last experience my guru called me up. She asked me to sit down and listen to her calmly. I knew she was extremely happy. I could hear that in her voice. This was the reason I wasn't alarmed. She said I had done her proud and reached some where only a handful of her students had. I could barely control my excitement. She said what I experienced the other night is called 'Enlightenment'. Hello ! It is me we are talking about ! Hope you didn't dial wrong number ! She told me THIS was the FIRST step towards real meditation. Till now I thought THIS was the destination. She laughed, that beautiful tinkling laughter I love. She said,this is the admission to school in kindergarten , not the graduation. This is always the beginning, never the end. I think this is a misconception lot of others share with me.What an honour. I am in hands of God. What joy, what bliss. Believe me this is THE most difficult experience I have ever had the guts to share. It happened two weeks ago. I sat down to write about this but my hands were shaking. Me ! Cannot be I. I wrote and posted it. Then deleted it next instant. What would every one say ? I could hear disbelief, laughter, smirking. I hope my rambling is making some sense. I am still too amazed to talk about it in a sane manner. I need your support and comments more than ever my friends.....

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Deeper State of meditation...

I experienced something very different during my meditation last night. First of all I did not sit down to meditate. I got up to feed my baby and as I was rocking her back to sleep I felt something utterly amazing. The moment I would close my eyes I would start seeing pulsating colours in front of me. I have experienced this before but only after concentrating and being in meditation for half an hour or so. This signals the out of body journey of the astral body. I put her down next to me in bed, didn't want her to fall. I closed my eyes and said my mantra. I let the energy be my guide. Soon I felt going deeper in meditation. Till now, during meditation, I could hear whatever was going on around me. I could not respond to it but I was conscious of my surroundings. This time I couldn't hear a thing. I lost all concept of time and place. I could see a band of colours across the sky. As I went further I came across complete darkness. No colours, no form, no tunnel, nothing, just vast pitch black darkness. I was just there. I have no feeling of floating, no feeling of movement, no feeling of warmth. NOTHING. Just being there. I don't know how else to describe it. After a while I felt as if I was zooming closer to a huge blue light. It was a blue circle. I passed through it and then felt as if it was the end of this session and I should get up now. Normally I am jolted out of my sessions by any one of my kids or the phone, some one else. This kind of complete feeling wasn't something I had experienced before. It was as if I was called to be some where and once it got over it was going home time. I got up and checked my clock. Two hours had passed. Two hours ! Next morning I called up my guru and as usual asked for an explanation. She told me that we are made up of 7 bodies!! The one which we see, the one which did all this astral travel till now and this third one that left my body for the first time last night. This feeling beyond time and space comes when this third body leaves us as well. Hmmm... too much too fast. I will read up more about this concept of 7 bodies and post it later. More surprise was yet to come when my guru called me the next day......