Monday, December 10, 2007

The road less travelled.....

I recently got a comment on one of the posts highlighting the fact that I have been writing about my experiences as if, " I have one every time I close my eyes". This isn't the case at all. I have had many frustrating moments. A fellow mediator aptly put it as monkeys dancing in his head. When ever I would sit down to meditate my mind would be as cluttered with thoughts as my sons room. I would be stuck on some or the other thought and have the same frustrating feeling one has in a traffic jam, it isn't your doing and there is no way out. My heart would not soar with bliss rather my mind would cook up all sorts of interesting day dreams. So interesting that many a times I would be lost in them completely. When I sit down to meditate it is like churning up a small storm in the still waters of my mind. All and sundry thoughts I would think I was over and done with would bounce back with vengeance. Every thing settled at the bottom surfaces. The water which was still and clear a moment ago is all frothy and full of debris. It is difficult but these debris need to be cleaned up. I could not accomplish it by running away from my thoughts but by accepting them. I would say ok I will give you a few minutes but then scoot.In the beginning when I was unaware of the bliss I could feel I used to wonder if it really worth the effort ! after all life had a million other things to offer. I would sit with my eyes closed and a few dozen thoughts mumbling away inside me. It was a cacophony believe me. This cacophony dies down slowly. I won't say it goes away completely but I can handle it better now. Its like learning to drive the car. On the day of my first lesson I was aghast. How was I supposed to change gears, check in the rear view, follow traffic rules, accelerate and put brakes, maintain a certain speed all at same time ! I told my instructor I had only two hands for heavens sake ! Now I can drive the way I can breathe, no special effort is required. I don't have to conscious of every move I make. It comes automatically and naturally to me. Same is with meditation. You need practice practice and more practice. Its a road less travelled. You will not cruise on a smooth interstate but some foot prints are there which one can follow.

3 comments:

Alban, Teacher of God said...

Dear Anuradha,

I enjoy reading your posts. They really speak from your experiences, and I am very happy for you to be able to sink deep down inside yourself.

It is really a miracle what we are as consciousnes and mind.

God bless you. I will link to your blog from mine, because I think what you do is very valuable. Thank you.
Alban

Anuradha malik Jagdhari said...

Thanks Alban,
I really appreciate your feed back.I started this blog so that I could share what I feel and connect with like minded people like you. Its a pleasure to get a link from your blog. God bless. be happy.

Louis said...

Anuradha,
An experience every time I close my eyes. Don't I wish that were so! Most of mine have been when I least expected them. I wonder if sometimes we try too hard and actually block ourselves.

Blessings,
Louis