Monday, December 31, 2007

Astral Body...

During deep meditation I have had had out of body experiences. My understanding of the concept was, my soul leaves my body. When I sat down to contemplate realized my soul leaving my body would mean only one thing, I must be dead. On questioning this phenomena I understood the concept of astral body. When our astral body goes celestial sightseeing its still connected to us. Some people have described it as a white thread and others as a silver umbilical cord. Now I remembered my first out of body experience, I was suddenly so near the fan I could see all the details and nut-bolts. I turned around to see the valances of the curtains dangling beneath me. Sadly I didn't have enough sense to look back at myself. I might have seen this cord. I guess I was completely flabbergasted at that point and too busy trying to make sense out of what I was witnessing. This happened about two years ago. Today when I sat down to write about it I remembered reading Richard Bach's hero experiencing his first astral travel in 'A Bridge Across Forever'.I have dug up the book and quoted it here for you. I read this book when I was 14 and promptly rejected all this as stuff and nonsense. I, Reading Richard Bach,was just to impress people ...lol..to project that I was intellectually inclined. His hero says,“The books had been right. Think about moving, and I moved, sliding on the air like a sled on ice. I didn’t exactly have a body, but neither was I without one. I had a sense of a body -- hazy, foggy, a ghost’s body. After all our determined practice, how could this be so easy? Extreme consciousness. Compared to this humming, knowing, razor-life, daily consciousness is sleepwalking.
“I turned in the air and looked back. The faintest thread of glowing light led from me to my sleeping form. That’s the cord we read about, the silver cord, that links a living ghost to its body. Sever that cord, they say, and off you go.
“Near-death experiences, they’re the same as out-of-body experiences. Dying is nothing more than an out-of-body, from which we don’t return? And out-of bodies, they can be learned!”


This topic of Astral body came up because of another experience I had recently.I will describe it in the next post after I assimilate it completely.




Please share your experiences and understanding of this phenomena here. Do you believe in Astral body's existence?

Group Meditation Exercise...

I was away to participate in our regular group meditation exercise. I have really come to like these sessions. It took me a while but eventually I managed to overcome the awkwardness I initially felt. We don't have these sessions scheduled on any regular basis. The date is fixed by our guru, as per the cosmic energy patterns. My meditation is usually deeper on these days. Apart from more energy in the cosmos its her energy field that we thrive on...lol. She usually doesn't tell us the why and how of the session until its time to share our experiences. Some times there is a ritual we follow but mostly it is sitting together in meditation with some music to help us. This time we got together on Dec 23. The atmosphere was abuzz with energy. I could feel the flow just as I entered the room. Whenever there is lot of cosmic energy in a place AND my receptor is on I can feel a sensation around my eye sockets which is difficult to describe. I sat down in the last row with my eyes closed.. I found my self going deeper and deeper and enjoying that state to hilt. It is such a joy to be able to reach a deep state in meditation. A vision flashed in front of my eyes. Slowly it became more clear. I was walking down a very narrow cobbled street. It had tall and narrow houses on both sides. That street was just about six feet wide, narrower at times, sloping up mostly. I was the only person there. I couldn't find out the name of the place but seemed like a small town some where in Middle east, may be Asia. The houses were made of blocks of sand stone. Some more golden then others. I knew I was in a hurry, there was some place I needed to be. I was rushing down this cobbled pathway when I heard my daughter howl. It took me a few seconds to react. It isn't easy to come out of deep meditation. After the session was over we were each given a slip of paper to write if we felt we needed to share something. Not every one took the paper. We were later told that it was energy of Mother Mary which was showered on us that day. I wonder if I was some where in Jerusalem. Babies sometimes choose such appropriate times to express themselves...eh!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Spirituality is my biggest indulgence...

I was going through the morning paper and the center spread was devoted to Gen-i wanting the latest gizmo, about designer clothes, yachts and what kind of passion drives people of this generation. This got me thinking, " what is my indulgence". What is it that I really enjoy. There were many things that I enjoy doing. I enjoy watching movies, I enjoy reading, I love to blog, I love to paint, I love playing with my children, I love just sitting quietly beside my man snuggling in his arms. There was so much coming to my mind. Then I thought indulgence might be something which I do only for my sake, for which I can forsake other pleasures of my life, what can keep me away from my children for a while and not make me feel guilty. Bingo...Meditation, what else! I realized THIS has to be my greatest indulgence. I am ready to pay what ever price I have to practice it. There are goals I have set, places I want to reach. I give it time and nurture it like a child. I am just like all those people in that article pining for something and aspiring for better and bigger. I am no different. Believe me I rejoiced in this feeling. Some times I feel abnormal. Some times I want to fit in. This dichotomy of being spiritual and materialistic at the same time makes it harder for me to be understood. I was always and a rebel and still am. I never felt the need to fit in till now. Ha, I guess age is catching up with me. well before I go on ramblibg about what I feel, I want to end this post with a question.

what is your ultimate indulgence ?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

LOVE...

I thought I knew love. I love my parents. I could die for my brother. I could kill for my children. I could sell my soul for my husband. Love was all around me. What did I need to learn about love! The knowledge was all around me. Most chart busters are love songs. Most epics are love stories. We even have a special day to say I love you. This kind of love I understood. What about the kind of love I had heard about at times. Love for God. What god ! Where was he ? How can you love something you have never seen or heard or felt. That was one love I didn't understand. I could never identify with people going to church to sing in ecstasy for the Lord. I could never understand the Sufis. I could never understand the bhakti marg( path of prayer) of Meera( an Indian queen in love with lord Krishna who forsake all her fortune in order to experience his love in prayer) or the love of Radha.

Then I got lucky somehow and discovered Meditation, rather Meditation discovered me. I used to wonder," I am still the same. I have been meditating for months but I haven't changed a bit." I was wrong. The fact that I could now look at my faults and feel the need to change was change in it self. Slowly, I realized what Love is all about. I am no authority on love . I have no copyright. All I can say is that I know it better than before. I still may not know what Love is. I know a little what it isn't.

Love is not possession. When you possess another you render that person inanimate. You reduce the person to an object. Possessiveness shows only one thing, you cannot trust the other person. There was a board outside my class room where we wrote quotes for the day. One has been with me since I first read it. If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you its yours, otherwise it never was. I guess now time has come to rise above this quote as well. Love can bloom only in true freedom.

Love isn't some thing to drive away your loneliness. You have to enjoy being alone. Aloneness is our nature. We are born alone and we die alone. I love being alone. If I am with people all the time it suffocates me. I long to get away and be myself. In fact I have discovered who I am only when I have been alone. Loneliness has negative connotations. Being alone is positive. Loneliness is dark, being alone has a beauty. You can be lonely in a crowd. When you are with some, be with that person only because of one reason, you would rather be here than anywhere else. Love should be like that.

Love is never constant. Love has to be ever changing. My husband isn't the person I fell in love with and I am not the girl he fell for either. Fifteen years have passed and lot has changed. Love has to change and evolve along with people. You have to keep and eye on that change. You have to accept it, know it, feel its pulse.

Slowly as I started meditating more I realized love is gratitude. So is happiness. Without gratitude there can be no happiness. Happy souls create love. With gratitude comes the feeling of thankfulness. When I felt I had so much to be thankful for I discovered prayer.

This discovery of prayer was amazing. I fell on my knees, rather my inner self or soul did, and realized another dimension of love. I felt God. I felt good. I realized love is intrinsic part of human nature. We usually don't get the right environment to nurture it. It is inside us. We go looking for it out side and that's why we never find it. Love will show itself if only we let it. Love is inevitable. Its like a river, it will flow out and seek the ocean. I didn't have to aid that journey I only had to insure that there were no hindrances. It is natural for the river to flow to the sea, you don't have to guide it. This flow is ultimate love. I am not saying any other type of love is small or false. I am just sharing how I felt in meditation. I am just trying to assimilate what I have learnt by writing it here, by sharing it with you, by putting it up for discussion..........feel free to leave your thoughts and comments.

Monday, December 17, 2007

The explanation...

I told my guru in detail about what I saw. She lets you describe the experience completely before she offers her opinion. She asked me a few questions about what specific colour did I see, where exactly were these Chakras placed. Then she laughed ! The last book your father wrote was on Kundalini and Meditation ! "How could you not know what you saw ?" She obviously knew I have never read that book. I felt she was teasing me. She told me I saw Kundalini Goddess. I asked her to explain in detail. Here is what I understood. The Chakras are psychic centers within the innermost core of cerebrospinal system. Every one of these Chakras corresponds to an area of body. They are not situated in the gross body but in the subtle body. According to Wikipedia,"Kundalini, according to various teachings is a type of "corporeal energy".Kundalini in Sanskrit literally means either "coiled up" or "coiling like a snake." There are a number of English renderings of the term, such as 'serpent power'.Kundalini is envisioned as a serpent coiled at the base of the spine.

According to Hindu tradition Kundalini rises from the root Chakra up through the spinal channel, and it is believed to activate each Chakra it goes through.This accent of Kundalini through the Chakras can be described an upward journey through self which refines and channelizes our spiritual energy till it rises to the last chakra on the top and then enlightenment happens. Each Chakra has a unique geometrical shape and colour. These shapes and colours represent various energy sources. I found a diagram on the net which shows the various Chakras in detail along with their names. I am posting that along with this post.

The lady with chakras...

This, I would say is by far the most fascinating and beautiful vision I have seen during Meditation. It was so awesome that I didn't want to open my eyes and break the spell. Long after she was gone I just sat still with my eyes closed. Her beauty mesmerized me. I was deep in to meditation and almost still in my mind when I saw her. A woman made up of light. Her light didn't hurt my eyes, it dazzled my heart. Not nearly just light, she was transparent, rather translucent. Almost whitish in colour. She was made of light but still had small lights flashing in her body. As if 100 thunderbolts were flashing on and off in her. As I was assimilating all this I saw something red and buzzing at the base of her spine, it was something like a flower with four petals. It had some kind of design in it but I didn't see it clearly. Next thing I noticed is another thing going round and round in her stomach. This was yellow in colour. This one had some eight to ten petals or triangle kind of things around a circle. These triangles were moving around a yellow circle which again had some design like a inverted triangle in it. I noticed a third colour some where around the neck. This was the most vibrant blue I have veer seen. Something like a bright turquoise blue. This had a circle with a triangle and another circle within that triangle. I had a feeling there were more circles of light but I couldn't focus on so much information and retain it. This is all I saw. She was floating in front of me all this while. I either couldn't hear my guide or he wasn't there to tell me what I was witnessing. When I got up I knew I had to talk to my guru in order to find out who she was. The conversation and explanation coming up in the next post.....

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The verdict.......

Wonderful response to my question friends. I enjoyed reading all the reactions and feed back I hope so did every one else. I feel the verdict is that both go hand in hand. Both are needed together. Choosing only one will make us lopsided. Only thing that we need is balance . We don't need to choose. They are complementary and not alternatives.I would like to illustrate the example of a dancer. Hopping on one leg isn't much of a dance. To get in to the rhythm and sway to the beats we need both legs. I have used this metaphor because to me dancing represents happiness. I love dancing to Sufi music and I feel my soul reaching outwith love. Well more on that in another post soon. Similarly to enjoy the dance of live we need both materialism and spiritualism. The whole emphasis is on balance. Balance which is good, healthy and happy.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Materialism and spirituality...

There is so much debate about materialism and spiritualism going on these days. Which is better? Can the two go hand in hand? Off course they do. For various people the two can coexist in various permutations and combinations. I don't believe one can be either pure materialistic or spiritual. The world isn't black or white. It is made up of shades of grey. Pure black or pure white is very rare. If I take my own example, I meditate and feel Gods love and stuff but then don't I feel the need of an air conditioner when it hits 48 degree centigrade in Delhi. I use a laptop to post this blog. I like to eat out in good restaurants, go to a discotheque and drink good wine. I like to dress well. I need money to do all this.The only thing is I don't let these desires rule me. I like to do all of above but I have never longed for them so much that I would be ready to do anything to get them. I feel connected to the cosmos when I hear good music, but then a better CD player will mean more enjoyment of every nuance of music. More enjoyment would mean I will feel the connection more. It does not mean how ever that when I did not have a good player all I could think was, " oh how I wish I had a better player". I feel life is as much about the journey as the goal. We must enjoy the journey as well work towards the goal. Both can coexist in our lives as long as we can maintain a balance between the two.


I would love to hear what you have to say . Please leave your comments. Thanks...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Meditation......

I have come across so many articles trying to describe what is Meditation ! I can describe how to do it. We can discuss why we should do it. How can I say WHAT it really is. To feel it is easy. To define Meditation is difficult indeed. If you ask a bird to describe sky, what will he say. He will say, well it is all around me, sky is just sky. If he has to put it down in words it would be near impossible. The finest and most beautiful things in life can only be lived. One can experience them, enjoy them, but it is difficult to describe them. Its like LOVE. All of us have experienced it some time or other. In some way or the other. If you are asked to put in words,"what is love", how will you go about it ? We can write songs on love. We can write poetry, put it to music, write epics about it. All these are only about love. They never say what is love. Each person who has experienced love will have his own definition of love. No two people will describe it alike. Science cannot prove it exists. Still all of us believe in love. No one says, "I will not believe in love till it is scientifically proven". People believe in love only because larger part of the population has experienced it. We have opened our hearts for love. Thus love can flow in any time. We are ready for it. We long for it, wait for it, want it. The day we open our hearts towards meditation. The day we will long for it, we will understand it better. More of us will experience it. If more of us will experience it , more of us will believe in it. All you need is an open heart. A willing soul. Rest will just follow. Be an empty vessel and you will fill up. Meditation will happen.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

There are no coincidences in life...

I sat down in front of my PC wishing that I were an artist. I could have easily painted what ever I see and life would have been so much more blissful. Now, whenever I write something I try and find some similar image from the web beforehand. I feel an image makes reading anything more pleasurable. My son often cribs that books appropriate to his age don't have many pictures any more. I agree with this completely. A picture can speak more that thousand words. I wanted to share my experience of seeing a person made out of light. I believe he was Krishna, but we will dwell on that later. So I opened Google image search and started looking for paintings on meditation. I usually look for photographs, this time some how I wanted a painting. Lo and behold I come across this image amazingly similar to what I had seen. I could feel the hair on my nape standing, goose flesh all across my body. How could this be possible ! I spend an hour seeing all the paintings by this artist Wieslaw Sadurski and reading about him. He says he has been having these visions that he has painted . Please visit http://www.wisarts.com/ and see for your self. In fact I realized I have used another of his paintings on this site without realizing who was the artist. I will write the post about my experience later. Right now I am awestruck at this new found information.

Monday, December 10, 2007

The road less travelled.....

I recently got a comment on one of the posts highlighting the fact that I have been writing about my experiences as if, " I have one every time I close my eyes". This isn't the case at all. I have had many frustrating moments. A fellow mediator aptly put it as monkeys dancing in his head. When ever I would sit down to meditate my mind would be as cluttered with thoughts as my sons room. I would be stuck on some or the other thought and have the same frustrating feeling one has in a traffic jam, it isn't your doing and there is no way out. My heart would not soar with bliss rather my mind would cook up all sorts of interesting day dreams. So interesting that many a times I would be lost in them completely. When I sit down to meditate it is like churning up a small storm in the still waters of my mind. All and sundry thoughts I would think I was over and done with would bounce back with vengeance. Every thing settled at the bottom surfaces. The water which was still and clear a moment ago is all frothy and full of debris. It is difficult but these debris need to be cleaned up. I could not accomplish it by running away from my thoughts but by accepting them. I would say ok I will give you a few minutes but then scoot.In the beginning when I was unaware of the bliss I could feel I used to wonder if it really worth the effort ! after all life had a million other things to offer. I would sit with my eyes closed and a few dozen thoughts mumbling away inside me. It was a cacophony believe me. This cacophony dies down slowly. I won't say it goes away completely but I can handle it better now. Its like learning to drive the car. On the day of my first lesson I was aghast. How was I supposed to change gears, check in the rear view, follow traffic rules, accelerate and put brakes, maintain a certain speed all at same time ! I told my instructor I had only two hands for heavens sake ! Now I can drive the way I can breathe, no special effort is required. I don't have to conscious of every move I make. It comes automatically and naturally to me. Same is with meditation. You need practice practice and more practice. Its a road less travelled. You will not cruise on a smooth interstate but some foot prints are there which one can follow.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Wailing Wall...

After I delivered my second baby I was having a tough time healing physically. One afternoon I was sitting with my sleeping baby in my lap when I felt the energy all around me. In times like these meditation happens. You are kind of pulled towards this energy. I closed my eyes and felt a strong pull in between my eyebrows. I was at peace and my pain seemed to dull completely. I was floating near the blue light when I heard the voice of my guide. I was standing near a thing which can be best described as a wall. I could see no stones or bricks. I felt as if it was alive. I cannot really describe why I felt that way. It was as if the wall could converse with me. My guide told me that this is a wall which has the power to suck out all the negative in a person. All the pain, hurt, negative emotions, things which weight down our soul can be soaked up by this wall. I was instructed to stand as near as possible with my arms out stretched. I was instructed to shout as loudly as I could , to rave, rent, cry out.

The kind of peace which washed over me cannot be put into words. . I will not say that physically I was healed completely but I felt a new vigour. I could cope up with my pain much better. I was also told that this wall contains emotions and messeges of those who have left us.

The Shrines...

Being born in a Hindu family is the only way I can claim to be a Hindu. Any other ceremonies associated with the religion were never performed in our house. In fact there was no temple or idols in my parents house. I was brought up with the notion of humanity being the biggest religion deeply ingrained in me. My father was a avid reader and religion and mysticism were among his favorite topics. I was never interested in reading about religion. In fact to date I haven't read my fathers book on Kundalini and meditation which is considered an authority on the topic. I have only experienced some things which I share on this blog. During the course of my meditation I have come across icons and other things associated with various religious groups. I think all religions are connected with each other somewhere some how. These experiences were meant for a soul who reached a certain level of higher vibration. There was nothing to suggest that they were meant for some one from a particular religion. In fact most of the experiences I have had so far are not related to my own religion, Hinduism. I have described Kaaba, The Pyramids and Wailing Wall that I saw on some higher plane. I think the various religious places or shrines we have are reflections of what we have on the higher plane. There must have been times when lots of people would have experienced them. This might have led to the construction of similar power houses here. Only thing is what was meant to be the key to the lock is all we can see now. We think that no one knows where the lock is. The fact that we preserve this key next to our heart indicates that deep within us we hide the knowledge of the door with the lock. All we need to do is look inside ...we will find that door to another realm.

The Blue Fire...

In meditation I have experienced the blue light or rather the blue fire often. It is very wise. Its like a key to many locks. It holds many mysteries. When ever I have experienced its presence I have been shown the right path. I think its powerhouse of knowledge. It knows all the questions I have inside me and all the answers too. I feel blessed, cleansed, rinsed, brand new, innocent when ever I have seen this fire. Its so paradoxical...its fire yet it doesn't burn. It doesn't destroy, it purifies. Its warm not scalding. It is so full of life. It dances with joy and makes you want to do the same. It gives me wings, my spirit soars. I almost feel not human.....alas I come back to Earth and all my follies and short comings are back inside me. My demons that I have to fight and overcome. I often wonder why are we what we are . If our purpose in a life time is only to rise to a higher vibration then why make it so difficult. Being a good human being is tough enough, where will we get the will to rise above that ? Every day I test myself and every day I fail. Some body up there must really really love me to overlook all my faults and bless me nevertheless. There has to be a higher plane I have experienced it. I cannot deny this knowledge anymore. I have been baptised by the fire of knowledge. I wonder at times was this what Moses saw atop the mountain ! I obviously don't claim to be him....but I still wonder ...