Monday, December 31, 2007

Astral Body...

During deep meditation I have had had out of body experiences. My understanding of the concept was, my soul leaves my body. When I sat down to contemplate realized my soul leaving my body would mean only one thing, I must be dead. On questioning this phenomena I understood the concept of astral body. When our astral body goes celestial sightseeing its still connected to us. Some people have described it as a white thread and others as a silver umbilical cord. Now I remembered my first out of body experience, I was suddenly so near the fan I could see all the details and nut-bolts. I turned around to see the valances of the curtains dangling beneath me. Sadly I didn't have enough sense to look back at myself. I might have seen this cord. I guess I was completely flabbergasted at that point and too busy trying to make sense out of what I was witnessing. This happened about two years ago. Today when I sat down to write about it I remembered reading Richard Bach's hero experiencing his first astral travel in 'A Bridge Across Forever'.I have dug up the book and quoted it here for you. I read this book when I was 14 and promptly rejected all this as stuff and nonsense. I, Reading Richard Bach,was just to impress people project that I was intellectually inclined. His hero says,“The books had been right. Think about moving, and I moved, sliding on the air like a sled on ice. I didn’t exactly have a body, but neither was I without one. I had a sense of a body -- hazy, foggy, a ghost’s body. After all our determined practice, how could this be so easy? Extreme consciousness. Compared to this humming, knowing, razor-life, daily consciousness is sleepwalking.
“I turned in the air and looked back. The faintest thread of glowing light led from me to my sleeping form. That’s the cord we read about, the silver cord, that links a living ghost to its body. Sever that cord, they say, and off you go.
“Near-death experiences, they’re the same as out-of-body experiences. Dying is nothing more than an out-of-body, from which we don’t return? And out-of bodies, they can be learned!”

This topic of Astral body came up because of another experience I had recently.I will describe it in the next post after I assimilate it completely.

Please share your experiences and understanding of this phenomena here. Do you believe in Astral body's existence?

Group Meditation Exercise...

I was away to participate in our regular group meditation exercise. I have really come to like these sessions. It took me a while but eventually I managed to overcome the awkwardness I initially felt. We don't have these sessions scheduled on any regular basis. The date is fixed by our guru, as per the cosmic energy patterns. My meditation is usually deeper on these days. Apart from more energy in the cosmos its her energy field that we thrive She usually doesn't tell us the why and how of the session until its time to share our experiences. Some times there is a ritual we follow but mostly it is sitting together in meditation with some music to help us. This time we got together on Dec 23. The atmosphere was abuzz with energy. I could feel the flow just as I entered the room. Whenever there is lot of cosmic energy in a place AND my receptor is on I can feel a sensation around my eye sockets which is difficult to describe. I sat down in the last row with my eyes closed.. I found my self going deeper and deeper and enjoying that state to hilt. It is such a joy to be able to reach a deep state in meditation. A vision flashed in front of my eyes. Slowly it became more clear. I was walking down a very narrow cobbled street. It had tall and narrow houses on both sides. That street was just about six feet wide, narrower at times, sloping up mostly. I was the only person there. I couldn't find out the name of the place but seemed like a small town some where in Middle east, may be Asia. The houses were made of blocks of sand stone. Some more golden then others. I knew I was in a hurry, there was some place I needed to be. I was rushing down this cobbled pathway when I heard my daughter howl. It took me a few seconds to react. It isn't easy to come out of deep meditation. After the session was over we were each given a slip of paper to write if we felt we needed to share something. Not every one took the paper. We were later told that it was energy of Mother Mary which was showered on us that day. I wonder if I was some where in Jerusalem. Babies sometimes choose such appropriate times to express!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Spirituality is my biggest indulgence...

I was going through the morning paper and the center spread was devoted to Gen-i wanting the latest gizmo, about designer clothes, yachts and what kind of passion drives people of this generation. This got me thinking, " what is my indulgence". What is it that I really enjoy. There were many things that I enjoy doing. I enjoy watching movies, I enjoy reading, I love to blog, I love to paint, I love playing with my children, I love just sitting quietly beside my man snuggling in his arms. There was so much coming to my mind. Then I thought indulgence might be something which I do only for my sake, for which I can forsake other pleasures of my life, what can keep me away from my children for a while and not make me feel guilty. Bingo...Meditation, what else! I realized THIS has to be my greatest indulgence. I am ready to pay what ever price I have to practice it. There are goals I have set, places I want to reach. I give it time and nurture it like a child. I am just like all those people in that article pining for something and aspiring for better and bigger. I am no different. Believe me I rejoiced in this feeling. Some times I feel abnormal. Some times I want to fit in. This dichotomy of being spiritual and materialistic at the same time makes it harder for me to be understood. I was always and a rebel and still am. I never felt the need to fit in till now. Ha, I guess age is catching up with me. well before I go on ramblibg about what I feel, I want to end this post with a question.

what is your ultimate indulgence ?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


I thought I knew love. I love my parents. I could die for my brother. I could kill for my children. I could sell my soul for my husband. Love was all around me. What did I need to learn about love! The knowledge was all around me. Most chart busters are love songs. Most epics are love stories. We even have a special day to say I love you. This kind of love I understood. What about the kind of love I had heard about at times. Love for God. What god ! Where was he ? How can you love something you have never seen or heard or felt. That was one love I didn't understand. I could never identify with people going to church to sing in ecstasy for the Lord. I could never understand the Sufis. I could never understand the bhakti marg( path of prayer) of Meera( an Indian queen in love with lord Krishna who forsake all her fortune in order to experience his love in prayer) or the love of Radha.

Then I got lucky somehow and discovered Meditation, rather Meditation discovered me. I used to wonder," I am still the same. I have been meditating for months but I haven't changed a bit." I was wrong. The fact that I could now look at my faults and feel the need to change was change in it self. Slowly, I realized what Love is all about. I am no authority on love . I have no copyright. All I can say is that I know it better than before. I still may not know what Love is. I know a little what it isn't.

Love is not possession. When you possess another you render that person inanimate. You reduce the person to an object. Possessiveness shows only one thing, you cannot trust the other person. There was a board outside my class room where we wrote quotes for the day. One has been with me since I first read it. If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you its yours, otherwise it never was. I guess now time has come to rise above this quote as well. Love can bloom only in true freedom.

Love isn't some thing to drive away your loneliness. You have to enjoy being alone. Aloneness is our nature. We are born alone and we die alone. I love being alone. If I am with people all the time it suffocates me. I long to get away and be myself. In fact I have discovered who I am only when I have been alone. Loneliness has negative connotations. Being alone is positive. Loneliness is dark, being alone has a beauty. You can be lonely in a crowd. When you are with some, be with that person only because of one reason, you would rather be here than anywhere else. Love should be like that.

Love is never constant. Love has to be ever changing. My husband isn't the person I fell in love with and I am not the girl he fell for either. Fifteen years have passed and lot has changed. Love has to change and evolve along with people. You have to keep and eye on that change. You have to accept it, know it, feel its pulse.

Slowly as I started meditating more I realized love is gratitude. So is happiness. Without gratitude there can be no happiness. Happy souls create love. With gratitude comes the feeling of thankfulness. When I felt I had so much to be thankful for I discovered prayer.

This discovery of prayer was amazing. I fell on my knees, rather my inner self or soul did, and realized another dimension of love. I felt God. I felt good. I realized love is intrinsic part of human nature. We usually don't get the right environment to nurture it. It is inside us. We go looking for it out side and that's why we never find it. Love will show itself if only we let it. Love is inevitable. Its like a river, it will flow out and seek the ocean. I didn't have to aid that journey I only had to insure that there were no hindrances. It is natural for the river to flow to the sea, you don't have to guide it. This flow is ultimate love. I am not saying any other type of love is small or false. I am just sharing how I felt in meditation. I am just trying to assimilate what I have learnt by writing it here, by sharing it with you, by putting it up for discussion..........feel free to leave your thoughts and comments.

Monday, December 17, 2007

The explanation...

I told my guru in detail about what I saw. She lets you describe the experience completely before she offers her opinion. She asked me a few questions about what specific colour did I see, where exactly were these Chakras placed. Then she laughed ! The last book your father wrote was on Kundalini and Meditation ! "How could you not know what you saw ?" She obviously knew I have never read that book. I felt she was teasing me. She told me I saw Kundalini Goddess. I asked her to explain in detail. Here is what I understood. The Chakras are psychic centers within the innermost core of cerebrospinal system. Every one of these Chakras corresponds to an area of body. They are not situated in the gross body but in the subtle body. According to Wikipedia,"Kundalini, according to various teachings is a type of "corporeal energy".Kundalini in Sanskrit literally means either "coiled up" or "coiling like a snake." There are a number of English renderings of the term, such as 'serpent power'.Kundalini is envisioned as a serpent coiled at the base of the spine.

According to Hindu tradition Kundalini rises from the root Chakra up through the spinal channel, and it is believed to activate each Chakra it goes through.This accent of Kundalini through the Chakras can be described an upward journey through self which refines and channelizes our spiritual energy till it rises to the last chakra on the top and then enlightenment happens. Each Chakra has a unique geometrical shape and colour. These shapes and colours represent various energy sources. I found a diagram on the net which shows the various Chakras in detail along with their names. I am posting that along with this post.

The lady with chakras...

This, I would say is by far the most fascinating and beautiful vision I have seen during Meditation. It was so awesome that I didn't want to open my eyes and break the spell. Long after she was gone I just sat still with my eyes closed. Her beauty mesmerized me. I was deep in to meditation and almost still in my mind when I saw her. A woman made up of light. Her light didn't hurt my eyes, it dazzled my heart. Not nearly just light, she was transparent, rather translucent. Almost whitish in colour. She was made of light but still had small lights flashing in her body. As if 100 thunderbolts were flashing on and off in her. As I was assimilating all this I saw something red and buzzing at the base of her spine, it was something like a flower with four petals. It had some kind of design in it but I didn't see it clearly. Next thing I noticed is another thing going round and round in her stomach. This was yellow in colour. This one had some eight to ten petals or triangle kind of things around a circle. These triangles were moving around a yellow circle which again had some design like a inverted triangle in it. I noticed a third colour some where around the neck. This was the most vibrant blue I have veer seen. Something like a bright turquoise blue. This had a circle with a triangle and another circle within that triangle. I had a feeling there were more circles of light but I couldn't focus on so much information and retain it. This is all I saw. She was floating in front of me all this while. I either couldn't hear my guide or he wasn't there to tell me what I was witnessing. When I got up I knew I had to talk to my guru in order to find out who she was. The conversation and explanation coming up in the next post.....

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The verdict.......

Wonderful response to my question friends. I enjoyed reading all the reactions and feed back I hope so did every one else. I feel the verdict is that both go hand in hand. Both are needed together. Choosing only one will make us lopsided. Only thing that we need is balance . We don't need to choose. They are complementary and not alternatives.I would like to illustrate the example of a dancer. Hopping on one leg isn't much of a dance. To get in to the rhythm and sway to the beats we need both legs. I have used this metaphor because to me dancing represents happiness. I love dancing to Sufi music and I feel my soul reaching outwith love. Well more on that in another post soon. Similarly to enjoy the dance of live we need both materialism and spiritualism. The whole emphasis is on balance. Balance which is good, healthy and happy.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Materialism and spirituality...

There is so much debate about materialism and spiritualism going on these days. Which is better? Can the two go hand in hand? Off course they do. For various people the two can coexist in various permutations and combinations. I don't believe one can be either pure materialistic or spiritual. The world isn't black or white. It is made up of shades of grey. Pure black or pure white is very rare. If I take my own example, I meditate and feel Gods love and stuff but then don't I feel the need of an air conditioner when it hits 48 degree centigrade in Delhi. I use a laptop to post this blog. I like to eat out in good restaurants, go to a discotheque and drink good wine. I like to dress well. I need money to do all this.The only thing is I don't let these desires rule me. I like to do all of above but I have never longed for them so much that I would be ready to do anything to get them. I feel connected to the cosmos when I hear good music, but then a better CD player will mean more enjoyment of every nuance of music. More enjoyment would mean I will feel the connection more. It does not mean how ever that when I did not have a good player all I could think was, " oh how I wish I had a better player". I feel life is as much about the journey as the goal. We must enjoy the journey as well work towards the goal. Both can coexist in our lives as long as we can maintain a balance between the two.

I would love to hear what you have to say . Please leave your comments. Thanks...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


I have come across so many articles trying to describe what is Meditation ! I can describe how to do it. We can discuss why we should do it. How can I say WHAT it really is. To feel it is easy. To define Meditation is difficult indeed. If you ask a bird to describe sky, what will he say. He will say, well it is all around me, sky is just sky. If he has to put it down in words it would be near impossible. The finest and most beautiful things in life can only be lived. One can experience them, enjoy them, but it is difficult to describe them. Its like LOVE. All of us have experienced it some time or other. In some way or the other. If you are asked to put in words,"what is love", how will you go about it ? We can write songs on love. We can write poetry, put it to music, write epics about it. All these are only about love. They never say what is love. Each person who has experienced love will have his own definition of love. No two people will describe it alike. Science cannot prove it exists. Still all of us believe in love. No one says, "I will not believe in love till it is scientifically proven". People believe in love only because larger part of the population has experienced it. We have opened our hearts for love. Thus love can flow in any time. We are ready for it. We long for it, wait for it, want it. The day we open our hearts towards meditation. The day we will long for it, we will understand it better. More of us will experience it. If more of us will experience it , more of us will believe in it. All you need is an open heart. A willing soul. Rest will just follow. Be an empty vessel and you will fill up. Meditation will happen.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

There are no coincidences in life...

I sat down in front of my PC wishing that I were an artist. I could have easily painted what ever I see and life would have been so much more blissful. Now, whenever I write something I try and find some similar image from the web beforehand. I feel an image makes reading anything more pleasurable. My son often cribs that books appropriate to his age don't have many pictures any more. I agree with this completely. A picture can speak more that thousand words. I wanted to share my experience of seeing a person made out of light. I believe he was Krishna, but we will dwell on that later. So I opened Google image search and started looking for paintings on meditation. I usually look for photographs, this time some how I wanted a painting. Lo and behold I come across this image amazingly similar to what I had seen. I could feel the hair on my nape standing, goose flesh all across my body. How could this be possible ! I spend an hour seeing all the paintings by this artist Wieslaw Sadurski and reading about him. He says he has been having these visions that he has painted . Please visit and see for your self. In fact I realized I have used another of his paintings on this site without realizing who was the artist. I will write the post about my experience later. Right now I am awestruck at this new found information.

Monday, December 10, 2007

The road less travelled.....

I recently got a comment on one of the posts highlighting the fact that I have been writing about my experiences as if, " I have one every time I close my eyes". This isn't the case at all. I have had many frustrating moments. A fellow mediator aptly put it as monkeys dancing in his head. When ever I would sit down to meditate my mind would be as cluttered with thoughts as my sons room. I would be stuck on some or the other thought and have the same frustrating feeling one has in a traffic jam, it isn't your doing and there is no way out. My heart would not soar with bliss rather my mind would cook up all sorts of interesting day dreams. So interesting that many a times I would be lost in them completely. When I sit down to meditate it is like churning up a small storm in the still waters of my mind. All and sundry thoughts I would think I was over and done with would bounce back with vengeance. Every thing settled at the bottom surfaces. The water which was still and clear a moment ago is all frothy and full of debris. It is difficult but these debris need to be cleaned up. I could not accomplish it by running away from my thoughts but by accepting them. I would say ok I will give you a few minutes but then scoot.In the beginning when I was unaware of the bliss I could feel I used to wonder if it really worth the effort ! after all life had a million other things to offer. I would sit with my eyes closed and a few dozen thoughts mumbling away inside me. It was a cacophony believe me. This cacophony dies down slowly. I won't say it goes away completely but I can handle it better now. Its like learning to drive the car. On the day of my first lesson I was aghast. How was I supposed to change gears, check in the rear view, follow traffic rules, accelerate and put brakes, maintain a certain speed all at same time ! I told my instructor I had only two hands for heavens sake ! Now I can drive the way I can breathe, no special effort is required. I don't have to conscious of every move I make. It comes automatically and naturally to me. Same is with meditation. You need practice practice and more practice. Its a road less travelled. You will not cruise on a smooth interstate but some foot prints are there which one can follow.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Wailing Wall...

After I delivered my second baby I was having a tough time healing physically. One afternoon I was sitting with my sleeping baby in my lap when I felt the energy all around me. In times like these meditation happens. You are kind of pulled towards this energy. I closed my eyes and felt a strong pull in between my eyebrows. I was at peace and my pain seemed to dull completely. I was floating near the blue light when I heard the voice of my guide. I was standing near a thing which can be best described as a wall. I could see no stones or bricks. I felt as if it was alive. I cannot really describe why I felt that way. It was as if the wall could converse with me. My guide told me that this is a wall which has the power to suck out all the negative in a person. All the pain, hurt, negative emotions, things which weight down our soul can be soaked up by this wall. I was instructed to stand as near as possible with my arms out stretched. I was instructed to shout as loudly as I could , to rave, rent, cry out.

The kind of peace which washed over me cannot be put into words. . I will not say that physically I was healed completely but I felt a new vigour. I could cope up with my pain much better. I was also told that this wall contains emotions and messeges of those who have left us.

The Shrines...

Being born in a Hindu family is the only way I can claim to be a Hindu. Any other ceremonies associated with the religion were never performed in our house. In fact there was no temple or idols in my parents house. I was brought up with the notion of humanity being the biggest religion deeply ingrained in me. My father was a avid reader and religion and mysticism were among his favorite topics. I was never interested in reading about religion. In fact to date I haven't read my fathers book on Kundalini and meditation which is considered an authority on the topic. I have only experienced some things which I share on this blog. During the course of my meditation I have come across icons and other things associated with various religious groups. I think all religions are connected with each other somewhere some how. These experiences were meant for a soul who reached a certain level of higher vibration. There was nothing to suggest that they were meant for some one from a particular religion. In fact most of the experiences I have had so far are not related to my own religion, Hinduism. I have described Kaaba, The Pyramids and Wailing Wall that I saw on some higher plane. I think the various religious places or shrines we have are reflections of what we have on the higher plane. There must have been times when lots of people would have experienced them. This might have led to the construction of similar power houses here. Only thing is what was meant to be the key to the lock is all we can see now. We think that no one knows where the lock is. The fact that we preserve this key next to our heart indicates that deep within us we hide the knowledge of the door with the lock. All we need to do is look inside ...we will find that door to another realm.

The Blue Fire...

In meditation I have experienced the blue light or rather the blue fire often. It is very wise. Its like a key to many locks. It holds many mysteries. When ever I have experienced its presence I have been shown the right path. I think its powerhouse of knowledge. It knows all the questions I have inside me and all the answers too. I feel blessed, cleansed, rinsed, brand new, innocent when ever I have seen this fire. Its so paradoxical...its fire yet it doesn't burn. It doesn't destroy, it purifies. Its warm not scalding. It is so full of life. It dances with joy and makes you want to do the same. It gives me wings, my spirit soars. I almost feel not human.....alas I come back to Earth and all my follies and short comings are back inside me. My demons that I have to fight and overcome. I often wonder why are we what we are . If our purpose in a life time is only to rise to a higher vibration then why make it so difficult. Being a good human being is tough enough, where will we get the will to rise above that ? Every day I test myself and every day I fail. Some body up there must really really love me to overlook all my faults and bless me nevertheless. There has to be a higher plane I have experienced it. I cannot deny this knowledge anymore. I have been baptised by the fire of knowledge. I wonder at times was this what Moses saw atop the mountain ! I obviously don't claim to be him....but I still wonder ...

Saturday, November 17, 2007


I have a list of places I want to visit like Australia, Spain and Egypt but I never realized that this dream will come true and in such a way! Deep in meditation I was enjoying the blissful state I was in when I found myself being led by someone to a place where all I could see around me was sand. Soon we were standing near something that appeared like pyramids, only these pyramids were shinning like glass surface. I followed the person inside.I don't recall what that person looked like much except what I could see from walking behind him. He wore a white garment around his midriff and leather sandals. I couldn't see far ahead where we were going as the only light was coming from the burning piece of wood he was caring in his hand. I could feel that we were first going down and the going up on something like a ramp. I could feel the rough surface of ramp underneath my feet. I felt as if there were long strips laid across the width of ramp. We entered a room with a door which was about four and a half feet high. It was very dark inside. I realized I was alone in there. Then I heard a voice explaining to me the spiritual mystery of Pyramid. I wish my recall was much better as I don't remember half of it. I was told that Pyramids are the perfect geometrical shape which enhances the cosmic power manifold. I saw the Pyramid in shape of an hour glass. The other half or the mirror image of the Pyramid was on top of the existing one. This mirror image was like a hologram. The explanation given to me was that the upper portion collects the cosmic energy and kind of funnels it inside the Pyramid shape that we see. I can recall seeing a demonstration of this phenomena and I saw a glowing ball of energy being formed inside the Pyramid. Sadly I don't remember the exact details although I was told about the whys and how of this ball of light I saw.

My husband had visited Egypt in the past so I got up and told him about my experience. He quizzed me about what kind of staircase was there and how many steps I climbed. I was confused, I told him none, I never came across any stairs. Then he asked me about the dimensions of the the doorway to the inner chamber. I described him the ramp as well. I was feeling let down by now. I didn't come across any staircase or the door way he talked about. This discussion went on for a few minutes. I stuck to my description and suddenly he just sat down next to me and said, " impossible". What? I asked completely dejected by now. He said my description of the inner chamber, the doorways and the ramp was completely accurate. He was flabbergasted ! How could this be true. I was lying down on the same bed as him and I had this astral travel experience. Well the way he is he came up with thousand and one explanations for this "experience" of mine. The only thing which differed from the actual Pyramid was the shining glass like facade I saw. Both of us knew that the facade is of rough light brown stones.

The most amazing thing was yet to happen. After a rough draft of this post I began searching for a nice pic of the Pyramids and as I was browsing this site an article caught my eye, It talks about the Pyramids being covered by mirror polished lime stone slabs till 900 years ago. The Muslim rulers got all those stone slabs removed in order to make mosques. I was stunned, I saw the Pyramids shimmer and shine ! I saw them the way they were about a 1000 years ago !

Thursday, November 15, 2007

There is Soul

I had often wondered about what we call our soul. Is it really there ? Does it leave the body once we die. What would it look like and would it evoke feeling of fear or awe. I had been religiously sitting for my meditation sessions and feeling at peace with my self. The sadness of my Papa's demise was slowly lifting. A huge void was there but peace was finding its way back in my heart. I had often seen the lights I have mentioned in my fifth post and experienced the feeling of positive energy filling me up many a times during this month. I was completely engrossed in the warm feeling of deep meditation one day when I came face to face with my friends mother. This friend is my brother's college mate and we grew up in the same neighbourhood. I grew closer to him when we found ourselves in similar situation in life. Both of us were battling with one parent suffering from terminal cancer. He lost his mother a few months before I lost my Papa. I was completely shocked standing face to face with her. Frankly I hadn't been thinking about her for quiet a while as I had my own grief to battle. She looked at least 15 years younger and in radiant health. I could feel happiness and excitement oozing from her being. I was shocked or rather surprised but not afraid at all. There was no negative energy around her. She had a message for her family, who were having a very difficult time coming to grips with their loss. She shared her excitement of finding out that she was going to be incarnated again. The next minute we were standing near a house which I can best describe as a small town or country house some where in Europe. I was wondering why we were here. She showed me a four year old blond girl and said, " she will be my elder sister. They are a good and loving family and I shall be their second daughter." It was here it started dawning on me what I was a witness to ! She wanted her family to realize that she was happy and starting afresh. They should not mourn her any more now. She wanted them to be at peace the way she was. She slowly sort of dissipated right in front of my eyes and I found myself hovering at the brink of my consciousness. I slowly opened my eyes but the wonder I felt in my heart and soul didn't ebb for weeks. I had indeed interacted with a spirit and found first hand about reincarnation. I also realized that a soul knows the family it will be born in before hand. I felt the excitement of a new beginning. It is an experience I am still in process of assimilating, never the less I realized I ought to share it.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Aananda or Bliss.

A friend asked me how does it feel when I meditate. I was perplexed, how to explain it to her. The only way I can put it is, imagine if most people in the world had only four senses instead of five. Then if few of us said that we can smell fragrance of a flower where as rest can only see it and touch it. People would have ridiculed us. It would have been an unbelievable concept. It would become very difficult to explain what fragrance is. How come we can smell it ! There is no way one can put the concept of smell in words. You can only experience it. It is very real even though it might sound like mystical or magical. similarly, I feel there is nothing magical or mystical or beyond comprehension about meditation. When we put on our receivers we become open to the Cosmic Energy. This energy awakens those neural connections in our brain which have been unused so far. We start utilizing those ares of our brain which we didn't have access to earlier. Our five senses begin to expand to six, seven, eight, and so on. All of us have either heard about or experienced what we call the sixth sense. There is lots more there inside us. It only needs to be awakened. In some people it can happen very fast and suddenly, like me, others have to work harder at it. all we need to do is look with in. Its all there. Its pure Ananda.

My Belief.

I was questioned just now if I was hallucinating when I saw Ka'ba. To be honest I had my doubts as well the first time I encountered something like this. I have done my BA with honours in psychology, abnormal psychology being my major subject. I studied law after that and thus have a questioning mind. My mind told me I was not fantasizing all this. I realized this was something different from my conscious state. I don't have a cognitive or thinking disorder. I am not schizophrenic. I have never had auditory or visual hallucinations nor was I ever delusional. I haven't read too much on this subject in order to stay away from self induced illusions. I do not do drugs nor take any hallucinogenic medicines. I don't see these things because I want to or because I expect to. I started off as an atheist. I never go to temples much and being a Hindu how come I saw Ka'ba and not one of the million Hindu deities we have ! If it was my mind playing tricks on me then I should have been in presence of some one expected. Yet it was happening to me. I cannot explain it. I cannot deny it either. All I can say is that it is extremely fascinating. I have embarked on the journey of a lifetime and I intend to enjoy it to hilt.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Ka'ba as I saw it.

During one very intense session of meditation. I found myself floating near a pool of blue light. I had encountered such a light in the past as well. When I got near enough to touch this light, I saw an amazing site. I was standing near a breath taking beautiful cube made of something like crystal. It was radiating light in all directions. I could see through it and thus all its angles were visible to me. I would term it translucent rather than transparent. It had a milky white touch to it. I cannot describe how I felt standing next to such a beautiful and powerful thing. It was as if it were a powerhouse of energy. I heard the voice of my guide after ages. He told me this was Ka'ba. I found myself reaching out to touch the cube instinctively. The touch send a jolt of energy down my spine which was too much for me to bear and I suddenly widrew my hand. I had tears in my eyes looking at the sheer beauty in front of me. I cannot estimate the size but it would be as tall as 10-12 floors of a building. My guide told me a few things about the source of energy which alas I couldn't remember when I came out of my meditation. I sure wish I can go back there some day.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

How to Meditate

I recently got a comment which made me realize that I have never talked about " How to meditate ". Out there on the net you will find dozens of techniques, I will talk about what worked for me and may just work for any beginner.

Its a good idea to walk around your house and find a place which you love. The area should be as neat and clutter free as possible. Also keep in mind that it should be a place where you are least likely to be disturbed. It makes good sense to meditate at the same place every day . The simple logic behind this is the creation of energy field in that area which will act as a positive reinforcement for you.

Sit in a comfortable position, making sure your back is straight. You don't have to sit cross legged on the floor. You could sit on a straight chair or on a floor cushion with your back supported by the wall. keep your hands in your lap. Let them fall naturally in place, they should be connected or over lapping.

The aim is to concentrate. I repeat my mantra to help me gather my energy and still my mind. Some people like to listen to slow rhythmic music. You could try focusing on the flame of a candle. It could even be a thing of beauty like a flower.

I start by closing my eyes and focusing on my breathing. Breath deep and slow. I concentrate on the life force gushing inside me with each breath I take. Don't fight the thoughts that assault you. Watch them . Let them flow over you. Don't get involved. When ever I find a thought getting stuck in my mind I do the balloon thing. I just smile and tie a balloon to that thought and see it drift away. After a little practice I got better at this. I am not telling you to become completely free of thoughts. Just decrease their traffic a little.Having said all this, don't get stuck in rituals or routines. They are there to aid you, not distract you.

Morning is a good time to meditate. If I am able to fill myself with positive life force early on, negative energies have no place to foster themselves. Just remember any time is good time if it works for you. Go by you body clock and rhythms.

When you sit with your eyes closed concentrate on the area between your eyes. This is the last energy chakra. If it makes you uncomfortable try to focus on the same eye level but a few inches away from your face. Initially try to sit for ten minutes and slowly build on from there. The key is to enjoy this experience and not get frustrated if you cannot focus . The more relaxed you are the better you can concentrate. The key is to be happy in what you are doing. Don't try to be the master of your thoughts, just flow with them and one day you might be surprised by the fact that you have left them far behind......

Friday, October 12, 2007

Benefits of Meditation

I had promised to take up benefits of meditation in another post so here are a few more.

RELAXED MIND: Meditation brings about a calm and relaxed mind. When you meditate, the heart rate slows down, and your breathing becomes more even. The inner chatter that fills us up quietens down and we feel more at ease. In physical sense it helps to lower the blood pressure and cholesterol. It sends signals to your body to find its balance and be in harmony with the nature.

FUN: This may be the last thing one would associate with meditation but its true. Meditation makes you fun to be with. The pleasure quotient people feel when they are with you goes up. The most simple explanation for this is your relaxed state of mind. When your are stressed you are less tolerant. You demand more and give less. Meditation sets you free from the clutches of stress. When you are at peace you will be happier. When you are happy, your positive feelings radiate towards people you love.

PRODUCTIVE: If you were to ask yourself when are you most productive, the answer will be when you are relaxed. Meditation increases your power of concentration, learning ability and memory. It enhances your power to assimilate data better. It has been scientifically proven that with meditation there is a shift in brain activity in different area of cortex. The wave activity decreases in stress-prone right frontal cortex and moves to calmer left frontal cortex. There is also less activity in the amygdala, where the brain processes fear.

ENJOYMENT OF LIFE: Meditation helps in enhancing the quality of our lives. It makes us aware of little things in life and teaches us to enjoy them fully. It changes our perspective about imperfections in people we love. It encourages us to view others in more positive light. Using a often used term,it makes us want to stop and smell the flowers on our way.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

How Meditation helps

Its difficult to put it plainly how meditation can help us. Each individual tends to react to the same stimulus differently. What works for me may not work for you. Still there are certain benefits which can be termed as universal.

LOVE : Meditation enhances self love. This is often denounced in our society as being selfish. There is a huge difference between the two. Meditation enables us to love ourselves better. When we love who we are then love permeates every aspect of our life. It shows up in how we treat our selves. Others perceive these undercurrents and many a times treat us accordingly. Only if we love ourselves will we allow anyone else to love us. This self love thus creates more love in our lives.

POSITIVE ENERGY : When we meditate the flow of positive life force increases. We are brimming with energy. The effect of this positive energy is two fold. We are filled with positive mood enhancing thoughts. We work better. Our creativity is at its zenith.

CLARITY OF THOUGHT: Another benefit of meditation is clarity of thought. The silence inside us helps in contemplation. When we are serene we can notice even a little ripple . It helps in seeing things in the right perspective. Our reactions are more attuned to the situation.

FORGIVENESS : Meditation helps us in cultivating forgiveness. It makes us realize how human we are. Forgiveness is very important especially in the context of self. Sometimes it is more difficult to forgive ourselves. When we carry a grudge in our hearts, we carry dead weight. When we are able to forgive that weight lightens. Light hearts can soar.

The benefits are endless. I'll take them up again in a new post.

The Joy...

Apart from the disbelief, lots of people question my act of meditation. I do not meditate any longer for any interesting experience. In my heart I don't carry any desire to meet my father. Why do I meditate then? The benefits apart, there is untold happiness in it. When you meditate you empty your self of all thoughts. This includes the negative thoughts as well. Negative thoughts are most efficient at burning our life energy. That's why we feel drained when we are sad or angry. When you are empty positive life force can fill you up. Positive thoughts give you inner harmony. They make you feel happy and at peace. When you are happy you can work better, live better, love better. This doesn't mean I never harbour any negative thoughts. Oh i do ! Its just that I know its better to get rid of them fast. I haven't risen above the worldly things. I have just come to appreciate them better. I fall, and fall often. I just try harder the next time not to repeat my follies.

Positive life energy or the cosmic energy is all around us. Our receptor has to be switched on and at the right frequency to receive it. There is nothing very mystical about it. Sometimes if we are reading a very absorbing book or listening to our favorite music, we are completely immersed in the experience. We can feel the joy and peace washing over us. This is akin to meditation. Meditation just not mean just sitting down with your eyes closed chanting a mantra. Meditation means living for the moment, living in the moment. Experiencing and enjoying it completely. Giving your all to it. We just need to simplify our lives a little. We need to have sometime to contemplate, to be silent. If we can cultivate silence inside us. Rest of the things like will follow.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Love Never Dies

As I said earlier, I did listen to the advise of the wise master but did I heed it....hmmm NO. My mind was was entirely focused on one and only one thing. When will I get to see my dad, feel him, or hear him. When you seek actively you get no where. You have to be quiet inside. Quiet and still and at peace. Then and only then you can focus. Even actively seeking can put you out of focus as it is distracting You have to an empty vessel only then there is space for something to move in. I wasn't. I was too full of my pain. Pain and desire. I guess the owner of the voice realized I was stubborn or maybe it was pity, I would never know but he helped me in a way only a master can.

Like most days I went into meditation with a simple prayer of help. I was deep in meditation when I realized I was in midst of lush green meadow. The green of the grass was unlike anything I have ever seen before. I was glowing, flawless, vivid, almost alive. I was looking around me wondering where was I ! It was quiet and peaceful. I could feel the joy welling up inside me after along time. I turned around and saw my father. He was glowing as if he was made of light, oozing with happiness. I don't remember much about what we spoke about. I just know that all my questions got answered. I did not want anything more out of life. In my heart I knew my father was happy and at peace. I could feel his love all around me. I wanted to go and hug god, master, guide, who so ever it was who helped me. I wanted to dance with joy. I have never felt lonesome again. I feel my fathers love all around me now. Everyday every where.

I know this isn't easy to believe. I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't experienced it . For days I contemplated if I was dreaming or was it self fulfilling prophecy. I don't think so. It was real because the feelings were real . I got over my obsession. I knew he was there waiting for me. I knew we will meet again.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

More about the Masters

The Masters or guides are highly evolved souls. Obviously not in physical form. I am unsure whether we are assigned one guide or as and when we need guidance some one comes along. The message I got was very wise for sure. Did I heed it ! Well that's another story.

It is said that once we die our soul goes through a learning process before we are born . When you meditate you need guidance at every step. These souls help us in both the process. With my progress in meditation I slowly realized how important these Masters are. They have constantly been my pillar of support and have patiently explained things as they developed. Their importance will unfold slowly as you read along.

The Master

Most of the lessons life teaches are soon forgotten by us. After the experience I had had you would think I would never grieve again. But then such is human nature. We never value what we have. We always want more. Greed has no end. I wanted to meet my father once. When ever I sat down to meditate my mind would just wander. I could not concentrate. All I could think of was how do I reach him. HIM here should have been the father of universe but in my case it was my father. For months I saw and felt nothing. The pulsating colours just disappeared. The peace I associated with meditation was no where to be found. I thought I was just wasting my time. I was getting no where. One day I was reading a book when I had this sudden urge to go in to meditation. Before I could gather my energies to concentrate properly I was cruising along the black tunnel. At the end of the tunnel I saw the blue light again. My mother had explained it was the light of knowledge.

This time the light got more luminescent as I got closer. As it engulfed me I heard a voice. It explained to me that I was wasting my time and energy. I had to let go of this foolish pursuit. There was no progress in store for me if I still hung on to it. I called up my mother and asked her to explain what I had experienced. Who was this voice and why was it taking pains to ensure I understood what was good for me. She told me he was a master, my cosmic guide. I wanted to find out more about these guides so I logged on to the net. I came across a book called "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Dr Brain Weiss. It was amazing to realize that many people have reported having experiences similar to mine. It was heartening to say the least. I wasn't hallucinating . There were more like me out there. What a relief !

The miracle

I lost my darling papa to cancer. It crushed me completely. I was so numb that even my pain could not reach me. My father passed away so peacefully in my brother's lap, holding on to my hand, that it was difficult to look at him and think of death. He had such a wonderful smile on his face. I knew all this was for his children. He could not never bear to see us cry.He would have hated the tears so I buried them inside my heart. My mother needed all our love and support so I didn't grieve. I didn't have the time. On the sixth day of his demise all the people who knew him and loved him got together to pray for his soul and to share their grief. I left Chandigarh(my home town) that day and cried all the way to Delhi. I just couldn't stop. My papa used to tell me all the time that no one in this wide world was as Lucky as him. No one ever had a daughter as sweet as his, no one has a daughter like his and no one ever will. I was the only one. Unique . One of a kind. This phrase that he used so often kept playing on my mind. I cried for what I had lost . No one would ever tell me this. We left Chandigarh at six o'clock and reached Delhi at two in the night. I went to bed in tears. No one could console me.

When I got up the next morning there was a missed call from my mother. I immediately called her back. We spoke briefly. I didn't know how to react. A miracle was unfolding right in front of me. My mother asked me not to cry anymore. I was completely awestruck. No one had told her I was distraught for obvious reasons. How could she know my state of mind in the exact time frame! I hadn't shed a single tear all these days I was with her. She explained that during her morning meditation my father had contacted her. He was very sad as he could not bear to see me in this state. He told her he tried his best to tell me I was still his darling daughter and always would be but I couldn't hear him. In my heart I had heard him, I never understood it though. Now I realized why that one quote of his kept playing in my mind. People die. Love never dies. It stays with you forever. Only if more of us understood this.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The black tunnel..

Weeks passed before my next experience. During this time I saw the pulsating band of colours many more times. Sometimes it was primarily blue and violet, at other times I saw red and orange as well. One day I was sitting in meditation. After about half an hour I felt as if I was thrown into a vortex of black. A whirlpool which was sucking me in. It was pitch dark and I felt as if I was inside a very long tunnel. I was speeding towards the end but before I could reach it I moved as my back was really hurting. The shift in concentration brought about the end to this feeling.

A few days down the line I had the same experience. This time I came to the end of the tunnel and saw the most amazing blue light. It was very bright but still didn't hurt your eyes at all. Bright but soothing. I was floating surrounded by this amazing light. It was so peaceful. May be this is what infants feel inside a mother's womb. Safe, secure, peaceful, calm, happy. The list of words can go on and on but still won't be able to capture the true feeling. It can only be understood by another who has experienced it.

The colours...

The first few times, actually much more than few, I just sat with my eyes closed trying not to think about anything but in vain. It has always been difficult for me to sit still for more than a few minutes and here I was trying to make my mind sit still. Suddenly one day when I least expected it I saw something. It was a pulsating band of colours, right in front of my forehead. I was completely flabbergasted. I wanted to run to my mum and ask her for an explanation. The lawyer in me kicked right in and I asked her instead what would be the first sign I would see. I had asked my mother not to describe anything I was likely to encounter. I didn't want my mind to play tricks on me. I didn't want to experience something because of self induced hallucination. I was completely taken aback when my experience matched with her description to the tee.

I called up two more people to ask what their first experience was like. I realized that there were too many similarities in their description for it to be a mere coincidence. How could four different people see the same thing. It had to be there for sure. There was no other explanation to it. My guru told me I had had an out of body experience. These kind of colours are experienced when your soul leaves your body for a divine journey. If my soul wasn't there how was I alive. I had a hundred questions milling about in my mind. Where and how will I find the answers.

The two experiences..

These two experiences got me thinking. What exactly was happening to me. I had seen my parents meditate. Both my parents have authored books on meditation, kundalini, mysticism apart from various other topics. It wasn't openly discussed in our house till we reached our twenties because our parents wanted us to grow up without preconceived notions and biases. Now that we, my brother and I, were of the right age they shared some of their experiences with us.It got me thinking. My parents weren't raving lunatics. What if they were right. I wanted to find out for myself. How could I make up my mind about something without experiencing it first hand. At the back of my mind was another thought that I shared in my first post. I decided this was something I would like to explore further. I didn't want to proceed in a haphazard manner where things were happening to me. I wanted to go out and seek them. I need to train under a master and I didn't need to look very far. The difficult part wasn't trying to find a guru. People waste years, sometimes a lifetime trying to find s apt teacher. My problem was looking at my mother with different perspective. My mother was my cute little mum, she didn't fit the picture of a guru at all. I contemplated for weeks and the suddenly it dawned on me that she was my first and sweetest teacher. She had taught me to walk, to eat, to talk, everything. Why was I having any difficulty looking up at her as a teacher now. So I took the plunge and asked her to be my mentor and guide. What followed was a journey that is very difficult to describe in few words. It has been most amazing, interesting, intriguing, experience of my life so far.

How it all started...

My first brush with meditation was involuntary and sudden. My mother had organized group meditation in my house. This group meets every month under her guidance to meditate together. My job was to ensure a clean house and hot tea. I was curious but sitting with a group of people to meditate thinking about god was not something that came naturally to me. To top it all Iwas a confirmed atheist. I was sitting in my dinning room wondering if anyone of them was going to do something dramatic and interestingThe room was quiet and the people still. After a while I felt a little woozy and shifted from the chair to the floor. Next thing I heard was my mother's voice warning my father not to disturb me. I wanted to answer back and open my eyes but I couldn't. I had a feeling as if I wasn't here completely. It was a very intense and strange feeling. I had no idea that an hour had passed by. I did not want to accept anything but a scientific explanation to what had happened. It must have been low blood pressure or low sugar or something I told myself. I was ready to accept any explanation but the divine one.
A few months later my visit to my mother's house coincided with another group session. this time I was not present in the same room. I was in the bedroom watching my son paint. I felt my eyes getting heavy but not the way sleep overcomes you. I could hear what was happening around me but as a background score. I felt a kind of stirring in between my eyebrows. When you close your eyes in daytime you never experience complete darkness. I felt as if i was in a pitch dark void. Before I could experience anything else my son jumped on my lap to show me his latest painting. I told my mother how I felt. she just gave a knowing smile and said this was bound to happen to you sooner or later. What did she mean by that ?

And God came along..

I never set out to find God. My reason to start meditation was much more human and blase. My father was suffering from terminal cancer and I was almost paralysed with fear of loosing him or to be honest loosing all the love and attention I got from him. I have realized slowly that none of us cry for the one who is gone. We cry for what we will not get for that person is now gone.I had heard that it was possible to transcend the physical plane and reach the other world through meditation. That's precisely what i wanted to do, to be able to reach him sometime somewhere. The solace that it was not the final goodbye was all my heart wanted. god was not even on my mind