One of the most amazing benefits of meditation is your enhanced ability too see beneath the surface. I am not talking about looking at someone else. I am not talking about becoming a better judge of human nature. I am talking about looking within. I am slowly developing this ability to watch myself. I think the word Hindu scriptures use for this is being 'Saakshi'. You look at your own reactions, you watch your self in action. It is as if you are split in two. One is the doer and the other watches on silently. As I watched myself it slowly dawned on me that I was wearing a mask . I have always been proud of the fact that I am myself most of the time. I was never bothered about what others may think about me. I now realize that at times I play games with myself. I am wearing a mask. I am now able to see beyond this mask sometimes. Slowly I am getting to know the real me. I wonder if all of us are like this. In deep meditation there comes a time when a sort of union happens between all that is you. That feeling of complete surrender, where 'me' disappears is wonderful. That one moment of complete happiness and peace where all your masks come off........is difficult to describe........stupendous to live.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The year before last saw me in a state which can be best described as blissful, confusing and mesmerizing. I was charmed but unable to fathom what was happening to me. I had loads of visions about different religious practices. I had more than a fair share of astral travel. I was here constantly seeking answers. I stopped writing as the answers actually began to unfold. I wanted to understand the situation better before sitting to write again. I haven't understood the How and Why behind everything but some understanding of the phenomena dawned on me slowly. I realized that whatever I experienced in the past two years was a trailer of what ever I had achieved in this field in my past lives.
I had to remember all I had learned earlier before I cold move further. My past was catching up with me. Since this knowledge was all there, explanations were rare. The pace was extremely fast and furious as I could appear for my third grade only after remembering all that I learned in my playschool through to second grade.
Now that I have finally moved to next grade, the flow is much more gentle. My understanding of my situation is much better. My acceptance level is higher and my need to question has given way to faith. I am finally a believer. I still do not know one thing.......why does this omnipresent and omnipotent source of power love me so much. People seek but never find. I was given without seeking, without asking and with immense love. Whosoever you are ....thank you and love you ....lots.
Monday, March 2, 2009
I am back. I never thought this day would come again. I was away because I had too much on my plate and then suddenly so little. I had to learn and unlearn a lot. I realized I was talking without knowing much. I should have known better. I know now that I don't know much. There is a huge knowledge bank out there. I know at least that much now. I have some idea of where I am headed. The rest I intend to figure out as I walk the path. Lots of love to all my friends out there. Thank you so much for being there for me ....always.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
That day I realized why Hindu’s call early morning Amrit Vela or the time when nectar can be yours. The meditation happened so rapidly that I was in it completely before I could have said meditation.
The vision was extremely clear. I could feel the wind on my face. I could smell the sea salt in the air. Well, coming back to where I started. I was standing near the sea. Below me was not a sandy beach but cliffs. I was surprised to see pine cones scattered on the flat surfaces of the cliff. When I looked carefully, I saw trees that looked like fir or pine trees. The small ones were growing in the crevices of the cliff. I have never seen pine trees near sea before. In India, pine trees are found only in some mountainous regions that have nothing to do with sea.
I saw a rough path leading up the slope and started walking on that. After a few minutes of walking on this path, I noticed the trees were getting denser. They were huge trees; some of them would have a trunk with a diameter of six to eight feet.
As I walked along, I saw that there was moss kind of growth on some trees. Surprisingly the moss was not green. It was grey-blue, the colour of sky on a cloudy day.
Whenever I would look up at the path ahead, I could see a small bright light. It was like a firefly gone blue. I was following this tiny flickering light.
This light suddenly stopped and grew bigger in size. It was now the size of a dinner plate. It had a curious pattern on it, like lots of concentric circles moving in circles. It beckoned me to step inside. I was thinking how that would be possible when this light grew bigger and became more like a tunnel. I was little hesitant to step inside although this hesitation was momentary. I saw a snow-white lamb walking towards me. He was jumping and leaping the way baby lambs do. He told me not to hesitate. He had come to my aid and I should follow him.
Here the energy dipped and I knew I would have to leave. I didn’t want to. He didn’t want me to. I could almost feel our hands slipping from the clasp. Its weird as the lamb cannot have hands. It is just a metaphor I am using to describe how I felt at that point in time.
I could feel myself slipping away from that light and that playful and celestial lamb. He turned the same blue as the tunnel and slowly the light became more distant and smaller. It did not fade away. It disappeared. Until the last glimpse, it was bright as a light can be.
Lamb is a clear sigh that what I was about to see was related to Christianity.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
I have been tagged by Ray at Esotrical Journey. Well, seven random and/or weird facts about me and from India.
1. Procastination is the biggest bane of my life. I am trying.....for the past decade or so to be more proactive...........and I am still trying.
2. I love to paint. Sometimes I don't paint for months and the suddenly when the creative streak wakes up I paint like a woman possessed.
3. I absolutely love cooking, but not the normal everyday mundane stuff. I can easily cook for a party of 30 people.
4. I like going for the movies and I watch a huge spectrum of genres. I adore whacky movies.
5. There was a time in my life, my teens, when I dreamt of becoming a bollywood actress.....lol.
6. I am very good at daydreaming. Sometimes the stories I weave are so facinating I don't feel like coming out of that world.
7. My kids are my biggest weakness.
ok....now I am goint to Tag;
1. Whole Living today
2. Aseem-Insights For Life
3. A Course In Miracles
4. Mindfulness and wonderment.
5. Why Zen?
Now for the rules:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Post 7 random or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The energy levels were very high today. I had a feeling I must finish my work and head for a quiet place soon. Meditation was instant and deep. I didn't have to try too hard to concentrate. I saw a white wolf in a forest. As I looked at the wolf I felt as if he wanted me to follow him. I didn't have any feeling of fear seeing this wolf although he was huge. I walked behind him till we came to a clearing in the forest. I don't know whether he stayed back to explain what I saw next or did he go away. I saw a circle being drawn on the clearing. Then a five point star came up within the circle, all points touching the circle. Suddenly this geometrical figure caught fire. Then I saw a hand of a woman holding a wine goblet. It was a beautiful hand. She wore a ring with a big moon stone surrounded with diamonds on her forefinger. I remember hearing the words 'Chalice' and 'Grail'. There was some kind of liquid inside that goblet. Then I saw a half naked woman enter this circle. It was very strange but on seeing her I didn't feel any sexual undercurrents, instead there was a a feeling of reverence surrounding her. I had a feeling that this ritual will finish with copulation. This made me feel uncomfortable. I sort of walked away from this scene. I have never done this, walking away, ever till date. To my some what prude mindset this was something very confusing. I got up and went for a walk on my terrace. My mind was buzzing. I had to find out what had I witnessed just now. I logged in and found this......
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
After reading about Horus and the tree of life in Malkuth I am really convinced either I lived in Egypt in my earlier lifetime or my Guide/Master is very fond of Egyptian religion. So many of my experiences end up being related to Egypt. Horus is one of the most ancient deities of the Ancient Egyptian religion, who appears in his earliest form in late Predynastic Egypt.He was usually represented as a man with a falcon's head.
He is called the God of Sky and sometimes God of Sun This is thought to be the original form of Horus. His name meaning 'high' or 'distant' reflects his sky nature. He was seen as a great falcon with outstretched wings whose right eye was the sun and the left one was the moon.Eye of Horus symbolic of indestructibility and is symbolic of rebirth. It is a powerful symbol of protection, and it is also considered to confer wisdom, health and prosperity.
The first place is located in the North-East corner of Malkuth. And it is the "Towers of Dark and Light."The second place is located in the North-West corner of Malkuth. It is a similar place in feel and appearance, to the Towers, and it usually is marked by two huge pillars of dark and light. This is the palace of judgment.The third place is directly North in Malkuth, and it is the Crystal Palace. The way to this place is through a crystal garden with a crystal road. You might meet the crystal princess here.It is here that you get gifts of energy and of special skills that are dormant within you that just need to be awakened. Sandalphon (in one of his forms,In his traditional female form, he will look like a beautiful ice princess or crystal princess. ) will usually be here and he will guide you to where you need to be in the palace and to what you
Monday, January 21, 2008
Last night after my family went off to bed I sat down to meditate. I went to the open terrace to mediate under the clear sky. It was really cold and the air was crisp. I must have been in meditation for quiet a while because my knees were complaining. I suddenly found my self in a beautiful place. I was standing on a road made of crystal. It was smooth and transparent. The sides of this road were made of uncut crystal. Every thing around me was glowing and shimmering. I could see crystal as far as I could. In distant horizon I could make out something very big made out of crystal as well. The colour beyond all this crystal was shades of blue. As I was walking on this road I heard my guide after a long while. I just remember a few words here and there. Cannot recall completely what I was being told. He said some thing about four planes, one being this crystal road. I remember two more words, malkooth and horous....this is how they sounded to me. I will do some research work tonight to find out what exactly was happening to me. May be these words will act like the key to open this mysterious lock.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Raven brought light into the darkness of the world and transformed and created part of Maka, Mother Earth. He named plants and taught animals.
Raven is the hallmark of shape-shifting. Raven could see all and find things that are hidden.
Some tribes believe that Raven is Trickster like Coyote and Crow. Raven is teacher out outwits himself, being fooled by his shenanigans.
Raven, in accordance with Celtic symbolism, is believed to be a sign that something special, but unexpected will happen.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
After a long time I had a wonderful session of meditation. Very deep and intense. The energy was almost too much to handle. Soon I found myself going through loops of blue light. Almost every hue of blue you can think of. After a while it was pitch black. I couldn't see a thing. Then I looked around and realized I was somewhere in a forest. All the trees were black . The darkest black you can think of. I was looking down at the forest. I though I am on top of a mountain, but the I realized the cliffs were also beneath me. Deep dark crevices. The mountain had razor sharp outlines. Going up suddenly, plunging down the next moment. I was sitting on top of a black coloured bird which was huge. I could only see his head and neck, which was in front of me, as I was sitting across his neck. It had shiny black feathers, like black having blue highlights. We were flying over deep valleys. For the first time, instead of a feeling of awe, I felt a little afraid. Afraid and excited at the same time. I felt something very mysterious was going to unfold. I knew I was here to learn a new technique. Only this much was revealed to me so far. My heart was fluttering with excitement. Suddenly I felt someone shaking me. My eight year old couldn't sleep, he woke me up for a cuddle and a cup of milk. How do you explain to this little baby what he had done !Well both of us had milk and cookies and I went to bed hoping someday I might be privileged with information I was about to be given. I don't know what Raven means in meditation or where this place was. I'll research on the net tonight and post whatever I can find.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I was reading my friend Octavian's comment on the post 'The cave'. Octavian says, "I would take decisions and achieve goals in that World full of Magic, goals I would not be able to achieve in my real life." The thing is when I experience something like say the 'cave', I am just a witness. Witness is the nearest word I could come up with, its actually called ' drishta'. I think 'observer' may be better translation. I don't know where am I. I have no idea why am I there. Actually all five of our senses should be working at that time and place. Sadly the meditation has to be deep enough and your receptors shold be properly tuned in. Otherwise the experiences remain a mystery, like most of mine have been. One of the clearest experiences I have had is about the Pyramids. When I was there I could see clearly. I could hear what my guide was explaining. I could feel the rough stones beneath my bare feet. I remember clearly how the Pyramids looked. I could feel the heat of the torch the man who took me inside had in his hand. Once inside the auditory sense failed me. I don't remember very clearly but I know he had explained to me the ' mystery ' of Pyramids and why this particular shape is important in Meditation. My visual sense has always been stronger. I often remember phone numbers as visual pictures. There are some people in our group who only hear what their Guide says. I can off course ask questions. The fact it that when something like this happens I am too amazed to think about anything else. The involvement has to be 100 %. Complete in every way.